nouveau-dating-guideA Note From Anna

Don’t you hate when you go out with all the boys and all their girlfriends will be there and you have no one to bring except your latest booty call? Don’t you want to meet that special lady that you enjoy being with and you cannot wait to introduce to your friends and family? Or when your friends try to set you up with a girl and all you want to say is, “I love being single, there’s no drama.” Deep down, you know you really do want to meet that special lady too.

I was guilty too.  I’d always tell people how much I loved being single.  I’d tell them how great being independent was and how much I loved never having to compromise.  I said it so often that I actually started to believe it. However, about once a month, usually while sitting alone at home, I would feel that something was missing.  There was this nagging loneliness that would not go away.  Where are you? I’d say to myself.  When are you coming to get me?”(I had the wrong idea that that special someone would come to me and knock on my door while I didn’t have to do anything.) I realized that this was the problem. So I finally got out there, I met my love, and I bought a dating service to help other people since I was so happy.

The problems that my previous male clients had, are the same problems you have. You’re never getting out there and taking the initiative to meet women. You’re always afraid to approach women because you didn’t want to get rejected or you don’t know how to approach them since you don’t understand women. This guide is a great start on how to have the winning attitude and enjoy dating. It offers secrets to teach you to know what you want and how to get it.  This is not only from my own experience, but from 6,000+ people dating each other at my previous dating service. I picked seven of the most important things where men get stuck and tell you how to be successful at meeting women, approaching women without rejection, and then keeping her.

1.    How to Start Dating with the Winning Attitude

2.    Who you Should be Looking for and Who is Looking for You

3.    Where to Meet the Woman you Want

4.    How to Approach and Attract Beautiful Women

5.    How to Know What Women Want and Meet her Needs

6.    Avoid the Most Common Mistakes on the First 8 Dates

7.    Learn to be a Man that Women Trust

Let’s get started:

1. How to Start Dating with the Winning Attitude

At my previous dating service, I noticed that about 86% of my clients all had the same problem. My daters weren’t ugly or rude, but they had a problem that could be just as difficult to deal with—they had the wrong attitude for dating.

Many people can have a fabulous attitude for life but a negative attitude for dating.  It’s not all about having a positive outlook.

What was frustrating for guys at my previous dating service was getting rejected from the attractive women they liked. This made their attitude negative towards dating and they either stopped dating or continued to date with a shitty attitude. You need to start each and every single date with the right attitude; you cannot get upset at any woman who does not want you. You might also want to look at your dating skills and learn how to approach the woman you want with the right attitude. All I am trying to say is that you cannot get anywhere by dating with the wrong attitude; all you will have is more rejections.

I wrote an entire course on this phenomenon and how you can avoid falling victim to it.  I called it “The Attitude that Works.”  Check out a free trial for more details.

Usually, you have to date a lot of different people to find your match.  Sure, some guys get lucky and get a great girl, but most of us have to work harder at finding the one.

The hardest part of dating is dealing with rejection.  Women hate to reject men and men hate to be rejected. You have to get over your fear of rejection and play the numbers.

It’s all about probability.  The more people you date with the right attitude, the better chance you have of finding one (or several) girls that you like and like you back.  If you date zero people, you have a zero chance of meeting your match.  If you date several people, your odds are far better.

Plus, with each date you go on, you’ll become a better dater. The more practice you get, the more at ease you’ll become, and the more women will like you.  This is only the case if you have a great attitude for dating.

Most men at my previous dating service were stuck at this first step because they were afraid of rejection.  They didn’t have the right attitude at the beginning.  If they decided to start dating, they would either quit after 6 dates, or keep dating with the wrong attitude, so when the right girl came along, she wouldn’t like his attitude, therefore leading to another rejection. Dealing with rejections correctly is what “The Attitude That Works” is all about. Remember how your mom always told you to stick with what you do?  Listen to her!

2.    Who you Should be Looking for and Who is Looking for You

Sure, you can get out there and just date, date, date. Who really wants to go on 50 first dates and no second dates? If you want to be successful, you need to be prepared for dating before you dive into it.

I found the second biggest problem at my previous dating service was that men didn’t know what they were looking for or what type of girls would like them and you need to know both. These men would say to me, “I just want an attractive woman!” then they would describe the physical qualities they want in a woman. I really wanted to ask them, “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?” or “Aren’t you sick of dating the wrong kind of woman?” But, at my dating service it wasn’t my job to give them tough love.  It was my place to match them with a girl who they wanted to meet.

I would tell you the same things I would tell these men. You can easily find a girl you love, who might be attractive, petite, and trendy (these are the 3 qualities that most men asked for) but it’s more difficult to find a girl who has a great personality and compatibility, the one you want to introduce to your family.  You have two options:

  • 1) You could lower your expectations and date a girl who isn’t a perfect 10.  Maybe she’ll only have 2 or 3 of the 4 qualities you’re looking for, but they will be the most important ones to you.
  • 2) You could improve yourself and dating skills and become the type of man that attractive women (inside and out) want to be with.

How do you know what kind of person would like someone like you? How do you know if your expectations are unrealistic or if something else is off? You don’t want to date someone you’re too good for, and you don’t want to date someone who will reject you. The problem is, it’s tough to tell what the right girl looks like…for you.

It’s not difficult to write a wish list of qualities you’re looking for in a girl.  However, it’s challenging to be realistic. Email us to find out more and read a free sample of ‘Who do You Love’ and ‘Who Likes You.’

After you’ve read these courses, you’ll be surprised at who likes you and who doesn’t.  Imagine if you found out that the type of woman you like actually likes a different type of man and you’ve been trying to date the same type of woman and getting rejected again and again.

Why are so many men stuck dating but still not enjoying the company of a great girl?  It’s because they’re chasing a ghost that does not exist.  They’re looking for the type of girl who rejects them because they have no idea that this type of girl likes a different type of man.

To get un-stuck you have to look for more than just physical qualities in a woman, I’m not saying you should date unattractive women, I’m just saying maybe it should not be your priority number 1.

3.    Where to Meet the Woman you Want

Like I said in section #2, it’s very important to first find out who you’re looking for and who’s looking for you.  It’s no different from me going out and practicing my golf swing wrong.  All it’s going to do is make my swing permanently flawed.  First, I need to go to a coach and learn how to swing the correct way before I practice.

When I ran my previous dating service, a lot of my clients would tell me that they were currently dating.  When asked how many dates they had been on in the last month, more often than not they’d say, “Well…I didn’t go on any last month…but I went on a date 3 months ago.”

Let’s get something straight.  Going on one date every 4 months is not dating.  I surveyed all 6,000+ of my daters, and I found out that when set up on a blind date, you have about a 6% chance of liking that person as a friend.  There is less than a 1% chance of this person being your soul mate.

Think about it like this:  of all the people you know (and I mean everyone from the barista at Starbucks who makes your morning latte to your closest friend), how many would you go on a vacation with?  I bet your answer is not that many, maybe 3 to 5.  If out of the thousands of people you know, you only want to go on a vacation with, let’s say, 4 of them, what makes you think that you’re going to find the great woman you want to go on many vacations with and spend the rest of your life with after only a couple dates?

There are two ways to go about meeting the women you are interested in dating. The first way is to go out to the specific places that the women you want will be. Once you’ve figured out the traits that you want in a woman, first prioritize them and then stay with your logic and start going to events and places that match your important traits. For example, if you’re looking for an athletic girl, then go to athletic events/places, and not go to musical events. The point is to not go to random places but places where you will find who you’re looking for.

Here are some places in general that you can meet someone…

- Grocery store/Shopping

- Gym/Sporting events

- Music Events

- Theatre/Film festivals

- Dancing/Cooking classes

- Interest Groups/Meet up

- Conventions/Networking events

- Wine tasting

- Church/Religious events

- Yoga/Pilates

- Political events/Volunteering

- Coffee shop/Bookstore or libraries

- Courses and Classes

The second way is to take advantage of matchmakers or online dating services. You need to know how to do it correctly so you don’t just waste your time. The truth is, the average person knows very little about dating services.  Worse, they think they know a lot about them.  People think they know how to make a great profile on a dating site.  They think they know how to choose the right dating service, and they think all they have to do at a local dating service is show up.  WRONG!

Creating the right profile is crucial to see the response you want. Getting responses back from the women you want is very important because for any attractive woman, the competition is huge. It is important to have great pictures, but no more than 5, a good profile and to say the right things in the first few emails.

The secret is to write about 3-5 emails before meeting.  These should be three SHORT paragraphs each.  Tell the girl something that will interest or impress her, but save some of it for the date.  It’s always nice to comment on part of her profile as well.

You should ask enough good questions to know if there are any deal breakers.  You should already know if she’s a potential match or not before you go on the first date.  It will save time and make it easier and more fun for you.

If you want more information, you can get a free trial of my ‘Dating Service Package.’ It will teach you all you need to know about online and local dating services.  It also includes helpful tips and general dating secrets that very few men know.

Most men think that their biggest obstacle is meeting the right kind of woman.  In fact, it’s not hard to sign up for an online dating service and get a date, but it is hard to get a great date.  What you really need to know is how to date and how to cope with rejection.

4. How to Approach and Attract Beautiful Women

It is universally understood that approaching a beautiful woman is difficult in any situation so you need to be prepared and know what you’re up against.

There are 5 different types of women but in the end all women want the same thing; security, love, loyalty, and a man to care for them and their children, so you need to know the 5 different types of women and how to approach each type.

Flirtatious- this type of woman is easy to approach and talk to because she gives signals that make you feel she will not reject you at the approach. However, beware, because she is so flirtatious and inviting she gives her number out often. Remember that even though you may not physically see any competition, but there definitely is so you need to really stand out to her, since later on she will reject you since she gives out her number a lot. The best way to approach this type of woman is to tell her something natural, non-cliché, and shows her you want to be more serious with her. This woman over-all is easy to approach, but very hard to keep.

Friendly- this type of woman is easy to approach but confusing at times because she acts like she is only interested in being friends but secretly she could want more. Play along with this and use it as your way in, invite her on a date that is more of a buddy type outing, do not use the word ‘date’. To successfully approach this type of woman continue to talk friendly and make it appear as though you want to be friends as well. Remember that this type of woman will talk to anybody so if she is already talking to another guy do not be discouraged, she may not even like him. This type of woman can reject you if you’re too flirty, so stick with being friendly.

Serious- these type of women are focused on the task at hand i.e. they are at the grocery store to shop for food and that’s it, they’re at work to strictly do their job. You tend to think they are the hardest to approach but the opposite is true, if you get in her line of vision she will be excited and most likely welcoming. Because of her serious type presentation she is not pursued often. To break the ice with this type of women show that you like her by complimenting her physical appearance and sharing the same focus she has at the moment of interaction. Most men don’t approach this type of woman because they think they’re going to reject them so approach her with no fear and you’ll see how most of them welcome you.

Shy- these women have the highest degree of difficulty but are not impossible. Shy women are usually attracted to the opposite personality type. When you approach her show off your social skills, find a topic that is comfortable to her and ease into asking her for her number-slow and steady pace wins the race with shy girls.  Approach this type of women with some light teasing and jokes to make her laugh and smile.

Barbie- these are the women that always appear as if they just came off a playboy set. No matter what their age they continue to dress and look Pamela Anderson-esq. It’s a common misconception that this type of woman is not intelligent; this is not always the case. Nor is it true that they are easy. Barbie girls are difficult to approach because they are sexually intimidating. The best way to approach this type of woman is to talk to her like you’re talking to your best friend and do not stare at her breasts.

One of the other problems that men have when approaching women, is they feel intimidated by the style of the woman. All these 5 types of woman can wear different styles: preppie, plain, high fashion, professional, biker, rocker, trendy, sporty, reserved or even no style. The style of a certain woman should not be intimidating and is actually immaterial. What she is wearing doesn’t mean you will be rejected so don’t dismiss approaching a woman based off her clothes. What she wears does not confirm a rejection, this is all in your head.

These are some secrets to help you create a better approach with less rejections, but it doesn’t mean that you won’t ever be rejected. Rejection is a part of dating, respect that you will reject women and they reject you as well, but if you don’t approach them, you will never know if she’s the one. You have to get the no’s to get your right yes. This is a good start, but for more you can get a free trail of ‘Building A Great Approach.’

5. How to Know what Women Want and How to Meet her Needs

Do you ever ask yourself  “Why don’t women just think like us? Why do they have to be so different?”-I had exactly the same feeling for the longest time about men. I didn’t want to figure men out, I just wanted them to think like me and other women.  It really hit me when I started running my previous dating service that the very reason women are attracted to men is because they are different. I learned what men and women want and the differences between them. Knowing what women want will make you more successful at dating and having a relationship with a woman you want.

Men and women have different ways of gauging interest and they also have different wants in a relationship. The results of this research might come as a surprise for you but basically, it says that all women are the same since they came from the same ancient roots and DNA. The research results states that all women, no matter what race they came from or what their nationality is, have the same needs because they all have this ancient DNA in them. Women have the natural need to feel that a man can protect and provide for them while they care for the offspring.  This has altered from women being attracted to only physical strength to being attracted to men that are both physically, mentally, and emotionally strong. Running my previous dating service proved that brains and brawn is still the core of what women want and need in modern day.

Here’s the main wants/needs of women and how to use it to your advantage to attract her. Women want a man:

  • That can be romantic and generous
  • That will love her and can be trusted
  • That is a provider
  • Who is affectionate and intimate (sharing thoughts and feelings)
  • With compassion and loyalty
  • With leadership, confidence and who is fearless (bad boy/hero)
  • To be caring and protective
  • That has the courage to show his vulnerable side
  • That is smart and funny

Women want a Man that can be Romantic, Affectionate and Generous.

Women are in love with fairy tales. Romance is important and instilled in them –so you should appease it. Romance is creative actions customized for her. This doesn’t mean only the traditional chocolate and roses, it is something that only you create specifically for her. Your romantic creation will be more successful the more it is catered to her personality. For example, if she loves the theatre surprise, her with tickets to an upcoming show with dinner at her favorite restaurant. Women think generosity is part of being romantic, so be generous, not just with money, but with time and creativity. It’s not always about how much you spend, it’s about you taking the time to create something special particularly for her. Romance is an important element for women to feel comfortable making the transition to physical intimacy. This will make them feel they’re going towards the happily ever after.

Women want a Man that will Love her and Can be Trusted.

Women want to be loved not just lusted. It’s important to make her feel loved by showing her that you are attracted to her personality as well as her looks. Since most men are visual beings it is natural for them to want to compliment her physical attraction. Pay attention to what you’re saying, this was a huge, common mistake that men made at my previous dating service. The ratio of praise should be 3:1; for every 1 compliment that is given on her physical appearance, you then give 3 compliments about her personality. Only commenting on her good looks is common for men since they are so visual, showing that you’re attracted to her as a person, not only physically, is one key way to make her feel she can trust that you want a relationship, not just a booty call. Trust is an important and vital need for women in a relationship. You should be honest about everything from the beginning, if there is something you don’t want to tell her right away, it’s better to politely tell her, and reference it for a later time, rather than lie. Be true to who you are to gain trust.

Women want a Man that is a Provider.

Women want a man that can provide. This is the part of the natural genetic needs of women to feel provided for her and her kids. I know that when men hear the word ‘baby’ from women, the first reaction is to panic, and it’s completely natural. Babies and children are a part of a woman’s genetic coding and you have to understand that they can’t help but think of it. You can show you are a provider and attract her by paying for dinner and events on the beginning dates. Most women now can provide for themselves, but being a provider is very attractive and important to women because they know you’re going to be there to provide when it comes time to take care of children.

Women want a Man who is Affectionate and Intimate (sharing thoughts and feelings).

Women thrive on affection and intimacy. Affection, romance and sharing your thoughts and feelings promote closeness that prepares her for making love. PDA (Public Displays of Affection) makes a woman feel that you care and are proud to show her off. It is important that you continue all three; affection, romance, and intimacy through out the whole relationship. It’s not as necessary for every man, but every woman needs and wants to have those three important things before physical intimacy. If you want a good and frequent physical relationship, you want to give her affection, romance, and sharing thoughts and feelings.

Women want a Man with Leadership, Confidence and who is Fearless.

This is why bad boys are attractive to women when they are younger because it shows fearlessness, confidence and leadership. The woman sees a hero in the future, the man that will jump in the sea to fight off the shark and protect his family. These traits appease the females’ want for you to be a powerful male -hence the female attraction to men in powerful, leading positions.. You don’t have to be the bad boy to have hero qualities that women want. You can show her you are the hero by having no fear of other people by doing something romantically silly for her in public; surprise her with flowers at the restaurant or be willing to be the first to hit the dance floor. Show her your aggressive ambition and leadership skills by telling her your future plans. Women are attracted to a man with a plan. Adventurous is the mature replacement for rebellious.

 Women want a Man to be Caring (listening) and Protective.

Women want a caring man because it gives them a sense of belonging and family. Showing concern for her well-being and taking initiative in supporting will make her feel loved, important, and the relationship is going somewhere. First thing that shows you care is by listening and engaging in conversation with her. There are small things you can do to show her that you care i.e. ask her to text you when she gets home after leaving your place (to make sure she got home safe) or send a quick reminder if you know she has an important event coming up.

Men have the natural instinct to be protective over their woman- protective meaning the basic concern to insure the safety of your lady. Women want a protective man because it makes them feel safe and shows you are a masculine man. A simple way to show this trait is to put your arm around her and veer her away from traffic or sketchy people when walking.

Women want a Man with Compassion and Loyalty.

Women are naturally more compassionate than men so they want a man that can show his compassion to her. I am not talking about being over sensitive but showing your loyalty and that you will be there when she needs you. Example-if your lady were to need a surgery done, you would be willing to take the day off and be with her through the whole thing and help her heal after. Bring up past situations when you exercised these compassionate qualities towards your family and friends, this will make her like you. Compassion is closely related to loyalty. Showing loyalty to friends and family lets her know that you will do the same for her and be there when things are the hardest.

Women want a Man that has the Courage to Show his Vulnerable Side.

A woman wants to have a strong connection with a man before she is willing to make love. In order for a true connection to be made you must have the courage to show a little vulnerability. Showing your vulnerability does not mean you’re a sissy- it means you love yourself and have self value; sharing them with her shows you are confident and own your imperfections. This leads to a sense of intimacy. Intimacy provides a feeling that it is safe for her to want to make love. However, do not over do it, being shameful and whiny only forfeits your masculinity. It’s all about the balance between being masculine and having the self-worth to show vulnerability.

Women want a Man that is Smart and Funny.

In the 21st century there are more women attending college than men. Although, it is not as important to women that you are formally educated as it is that you are able to make correct, smart, life decisions. Share with her the smart decisions you have made that resulted in success. For example, perhaps you decided to go back to school to get a better job or maybe you quit school to help your family or start a business.

Most women like a guy that makes them smile and laugh. This makes her feel that if things get rough in the future her man will be able to keep their spirits up. Remember to be clever, funny and even silly at times but don’t over do it and be a clown.

To understand what women want and deliver it is going to help you attract, keep  and meet a great woman that you want. If you give her her wants and needs, in response your needs will be met or you’re entitled to ask her to meet your needs as well.

6. Avoid the Most Common Mistakes on the First 8 Dates

The beginning of any relationship is when it’s at its most fragile.  After you’ve dated someone for a while, you have a lot more liberties.  If you offend her after 6 months worth of good memories, she’ll be more likely to forgive you and move on.  But, if you say something that she finds offensive on the first 8 dates, she might not give you a second chance.  You have to be extra-careful and extra-knowledgeable on the first 8 dates if you want to build a relationship.

The first 8 dates are the most crucial.  That’s where the spark begins.  It’s very important to know what to do and what not to do.  After you build a strong foundation, you can relax more, but don’t become a jerk.

You already know from section 5 what women want and what to do to show her that you can meet her needs, but here’s things to avoid on the first eight dates:

  • Don’t discuss previous relationships. If your date asks you, politely say that it just “didn’t work out” and you want to discuss this topic later.
  • Don’t talk about politics or religion.
  • Don’t ask about her family.  It’s too much of a gamble.  If she doesn’t have a good relationship with them, it could be a disaster.
  • Don’t talk about sex on the first date.  Above all, do NOT ask your date how many sexual partners she’s had.  Don’t be pushy to have sex until she’s ready.
  • Don’t take her anywhere you can’t afford to pay for her. If that means taking her to a park with sandwiches, that’s more respectable than taking her to a restaurant and expecting her to pay half.
  • Don’t ask, “What do you think of me?” or “How am I doing?” You’re just putting your date in an awkward situation in which she’ll feel obligated to lie.

This is a good start to have good dating skills. To avoid losing a great woman in the first 8 dates. If you want to increase your dating skills, try a free trail of ‘Dating Skills’ and ‘Become A Quality Date.’

7. Learn to be a Man Women Trust

One way to gain trust is to have open communication. Expressing who you are and what your needs are it will help you get to know who she is. If you show you don’t want to get to know her, she won’t trust you. Besides open communication, your actions have to match up with your words. Walk your talk. There’s no way any woman can ever trust you if you act different than what you say.

Most women are interested in the future and where the relationship would go. Men need to be honest about their feelings regarding the future. It’s better to say that you don’t know rather than lie and make promises that you can’t keep. One thing men have to remember in the beginning of a relationship is sometimes the excitement of it all leads to making promises and saying things that won’t always happen. If you say things that you end up not being able to provide, a woman will never trust you. For example, if you say to her that you want to go on vacation with her and then later you back out of it, she will be upset and not trust you since you said one thing and did another.

This guide is just a great start to improving your dating skills and your ability to attract and keep the woman that you want. To learn more you can check out these other helpful free trials of books:

The Platinum Package for Single Men, What Women Want, Becoming a Sexy Man, Building A Great Approach, Age Knowledge for Men, Becoming a Quality Date, Who Likes You? Who Do You Love? You and Your Future Mate, Your Action Plan, The Ultimate Package About Dating Services, Choosing the Right Dating Service, Playing the Numbers, Don’t Spend a Dime on Scam Dating Services, Avoid Online Dating Disasters, Creating a Great Profile, Dating Skills

 

Check out more great tips at Nouveau Dating and as always email us with any questions at info@nouveaudating.com.

 

Good Luck!

Anna