nouveau-dating-guide
A Note From Anna

Don’t you hate when people ask, “Hey you’re still single? Don’t you want to meet someone?”  If you were like I was, you’d say, “Are you kidding?  I LOVE being single!”  You might say it so much that you start to believe it, but deep down, you don’t want to be single at all. You want someone to eat breakfast with, take walks with and spend time with.  You want someone who will bring out the best in you, someone who loves you and you love back.

I was guilty too.  I’d always tell people how much I loved being single.  I’d tell them how great being independent was and how much I loved never having to compromise.  I said it so often that I actually started to believe it.  But, about once a month, usually while running in the park, I would feel that something was missing.  There was this nagging loneliness that would not go away.  Where are you? I’d say to myself.  When are you coming to get me?”(I had the wrong idea that he would come to me and knock on my door while I didn’t have to do anything.)

I didn’t have a problem getting dates.  My problem was that I dated all the wrong men.  Just to make things clear, they weren’t bad men—they would all have made good husbands—but they were the wrong men for me.  One of my closest friends pointed out that none of these men were my soul mates.  I was running in circles and needed a vacation.

On the white sand beaches of Turks and Cacaos, I was hit with a lightning bolt.  It wasn’t a real lightning bolt, but it was like a huge light bulb went off in my head.  Suddenly, I knew how to get the man of my dreams.  3 months later, after 10 years of being single, I found him and we’ve been together ever since.

How did I do that?  I’m a businesswoman, and troubleshooting is what I do. These were the problems I found:

  1. I was not even looking.
  2. I was looking in the wrong places.
  3. I didn’t have an action plan, time or motivation. My priorities were my kids, my career, and my friends, and the problem was finding a man. Strangely enough, I thought,  “If someone would give me the perfect guy, he would probably become my family and jump to my number 1 priority as well, but right now he’s priority number 5.”

So my number one solution to the problem was very clear, I had to change my priorities when looking for him.  Looking for him had to be in my top 3 priorities.  I had to find time because he (who does not yet exist) will become priority number 1. My second solution was I had to figure out who I really want and who would want to be with me. My third solution was creating an action plan on how to find him.

After I had all the solutions and created my own plan, methods and techniques on how and where to find the right man for me, I had to learn what men want and become the woman a great man would want to be with. Then, it only took me 3 months to find Mac, the man of my dreams. Remember, I was single for ten long years before that.  Note that was 10 years ago, and we’re still together and happy as ever.

Because I was happy in my personal life, I wanted to help other people succeed and have great companionship. I bought a dating service and helped match people for years. I learned pretty much everything there is to know about dating. My 6,000+ clients gave feedback about their dates after each date they went on. I analyzed over 6,000 of these, and I know what men like, what will drive them away and what will make them commit to you for life.

I don’t just know what worked for one person, me. I know what worked for over 3,000 women just like you. After I sold the dating service, I was only able to help my single clients through costly private coaching and consulting. This drove me to write simple, easy to follow articles and send free newsletters to my clients.  I also created several different programs to help men and women become successful at dating.

I was overjoyed to receive these kinds of responses to my courses.  Here are a few things my clients had to say…

“I had very specific needs and it was important for me that my partner in life would come from the same background as me. Coach Karimo opened my eyes to making my age range bigger, plus she encouraged me to use the Internet to find what I was looking for. Even though my boyfriend is 12 years older than me (which I would have never thought possible), this is the most amazing relationship I have ever been in, plus he is from the same background as me!”

—Anna Topolka, Florida

“I am a very high energy business woman and Coach Karimo made me realize that I have to be more soft, sweet, and feminine with men than I was in the past. Because of the course ‘Sexy Women Power’ I married my husband who appreciates me for being both sexy and powerful.”

—Valentina Meehan, DC

I had to work from zero up. In your case, I’m going to help you in this guide figure out where you are stuck by looking at the incredible statistics I got from running my previous dating service. There were seven different areas where women got stuck, some of them on just one, some of them on all seven.

1.    How to Start Dating with the Winning Attitude

2.    Who you Should be Looking for and Who is Looking for you

3.    Where to Meet the Man you Want

4.    How to Attract Men

5.    How to Know what Men Want and Meet his Needs

6.    Avoid the Most Common Mistakes on the First 8 Dates

7.    Learn to be a Woman that Men Want to Commit to

Here goes…

1.    How to Start Dating with the Winning Attitude

At my previous dating service, I noticed that about 86% of my clients all had the same problem.  At first, it wasn’t obvious.  My daters weren’t ugly or rude, but they had a problem that could be just as difficult to deal with—they had the wrong attitude.

Many people can have a fabulous attitude for life but a negative attitude for dating.  It’s not all about having a positive outlook.  Sure, that’s part of it, but it’s much more involved.

Do you know how many dates the average person at any dating service went on before giving up?  10? 25?

Wrong.  They went on an average of 3 to 6 dates before becoming frustrated and disheartened.  This statistic shocked me.  How could anyone date so few people and then decide that there are no good people out there?

I wrote an entire course on this phenomenon and how you can avoid falling victim to it.  I called it “The Attitude that Works.”  Check out a free trial for more details.

Back to what I was saying…

Usually, you have to date a lot of different people to find your match.  Sure, sometimes people get lucky and marry their high school sweetheart and live happy lives.  Most of us have to work harder at finding the one.

The hardest part of dating is dealing with rejection.  It’s hard to reject other people, and it’s hard when other people reject you.  You have to get over your fear of rejection and play the numbers game.

It’s all about probability.  The more people you date, the better chance you have of finding one (or several) that you like and likes you back.  If you date zero people, you have about a zero chance of meeting your match.  If you date several people, your odds are better.

Plus, with each date you go on, you’ll become a better date. The more practice you get, the more at ease you’ll become, and the more people will like you back.

Most of the people at my dating service were stuck at this first step.  They didn’t have the right attitude.  If they decided to start dating, they’d quit almost immediately, after about 1-3 dates.

2.    Who you Should be Looking for and Who is Looking for You

Sure, you can get out there and just date, date, date. But who really wants to go on 50 first dates and no second dates? If you want to be successful, you need to be prepared for dating before you dive into it.

I found the second biggest problem at my previous dating service was that women didn’t know what they were looking for or what type of guy would like them (and, trust me, you need to know both). These women would say to me, “I just want a man to love me for who I am!” then they would add, “Oh, and I want him to be tall, successful, financially secure, be athletic, blah, blah, blah.”

I really wanted to tell them, “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately!”  But, at my dating service it wasn’t my job to give them tough love.  It was my place to match them with a guy who they wanted to meet.

I would tell you the same things I would tell these women. You can easily find a guy you love, who might be tall, successful, financially secure and athletic but it’s more difficult to find a man who would love you for who you are.  You have two options:

  • 1) You could lower your expectations and date a guy who isn’t a perfect 10.  Maybe he’ll only have 2 or 3 of the 4 qualities you’re looking for
  • 2) You could improve yourself and become the type of woman that great men want to date and commit to

How do you know what kind of person would like someone like you? How do you know if your expectations are unrealistic or if something else is up? You don’t want to date someone you’re too good for, and you don’t want to date someone who will never like you back. The problem is, it’s tough to tell what the right guy looks like…for you.

It’s not difficult to write a wish list of qualities you’re looking for in a guy.  However, it’s challenging to be realistic.  You can find help on how to do this right in ‘Who do You Love’ and the other side in ‘Who Likes You.’

After you complete the exercises in my courses, you’ll be surprised at who would like you for who you are.  Imagine if you found out that the type of man you like actually likes a different type of woman!

Why are so many women stuck dating but not being successful?  It’s because they’re chasing a ghost that does not exist.  They’re looking for the type of guy who rejects them because they have no idea that this type of guy likes a different type of woman.

To get un-stuck you have to either change your image or lower your expectations.

3.    Where to Meet the Man you Want

Like I said in section 2, it’s very important to first find out who you’re looking for and who’s looking for you.  It’s no different from me going out and practicing my golf swing wrong.  All it’s going to do is make my swing permanently flawed.  First, I need to go to the coach and learn how to swing the correct way before I practice.

When I ran my previous dating service, a lot of my clients would tell me that they were currently dating.  When asked how many dates they had been on in the last month, more often than not they’d say, “Well…I didn’t go on any last  month…but I went on a date 3 months ago.”

Let’s get something straight.  Going on one date every 4 months is not dating.  I surveyed all 6,000+ of my daters, and I found out that when set up on a blind date, you have about a 6% chance of liking that person as a friend.  There is less than a 1% chance of this person being your soul mate.

Think about it like this:  of all the people you know (and I mean everyone from the barista at Starbucks who makes your morning latte to your closest friend), how many would you go on a vacation with?  I bet your answer is not that many, maybe 3 to 5.  If out of the thousands of people you know, you only want to go on a vacation with, let’s say, 4 of them, what makes you think that you’re going to find the person you want to go on many vacations with and spend the rest of your life with after only a couple dates?

Sure, some people get lucky.  My daughter married the 4th guy I set her up with (don’t you hate those people?).  But, it takes most of us (myself included) A LOT more dates.  It took me 36 dates to meet Mac.

Now that you know you need to be prepared to date a lot of people, you need to know where to find all these people.  The simple answer is dating services.  Both local and online dating services are the best place to find dates, and I’m not just saying this because I ran a dating service!

The truth is, the average person knows very little about dating services.  Worse, they think they do know a lot about them.  People think they know how to make a great profile on a dating site.  They think  they know how to choose the right dating service for them, and they think all they have to do at a local dating service is show up.  WRONG!

There are many secrets to giving yourself an unfair advantage over the competition when finding dates and keeping them.

Here’s an example:

After creating a great dating profile, you’ll have so many responses to your online dating profile from men that it’s overwhelming.  How do you choose which one you want to go out with?

The secret is to write about 3 emails before meeting.  These should be three SHORT paragraphs each.  Tell the guy something that will interest him, but save some of it for the date.  It’s always nice to comment on part of his profile as well.

You should ask enough good questions to know if there are any deal breakers.  You should already know if he’s a potential match or not before you go on the first date.  It will save time and make it easier and more fun for you.

If you want more information, contact info@nouveaudating.com for more on dating sites/services and profile support. It also includes helpful tips and general dating secrets that very few women know.

Most women think that their biggest obstacle is meeting someone.  In fact, it’s not hard to sign up for an online dating service and get a date.  What you really need to know is how to date and how not to quit after the first 3 dates.   There is enough information in this guide alone, but to get more information, check out the Diamond Package.

4. How to Attract Men

There is something I want you to know:  ALL men want an attractive woman.  Duh, right? The secret is being attractive doesn’t necessarily mean being beautiful.  In fact, a woman can look like a supermodel and not be attractive.  Being attractive means having the whole package—inner beauty, confidence and personality.  How the heck do you do that?

When I ran my previous dating service, I learned a lot about what men are attracted to.  In general, men think they are attracted to looks.  What I noticed is that these men will go on a first date with a girl who looks beautiful, but they’ll marry the girl with the great personality.  Mature men know that beauty doesn’t last forever, but a great connection does.  However, being attractive gets your foot in the door.

The most important attribute to have is confidence.  You need to be proud of who you are and your unique qualities.  Every man wants to date a confident woman.  No man wants to date a woman who is insecure or clingy.  You know how a lot of women will ask their men if they look fat?  Don’t do it!  Choose clothes that you know you look good in and can wear with confidence.

Even if you don’t look like a supermodel, you can look better by wearing trendy clothing and taking care of yourself.  Men see images of trendy women in the media all the time, and that’s what they’re conditioned to like (don’t you hate advertising for that?).

If you couple a positive personality with confidence and a good appearance, you’ll be golden.  But, there’s more to it than that.  You also have to have the right body language, the right attitude and the right kind of sex appeal.  I could go on and on, but there’s too much information to put it all in this guide.  If you feel like you need to improve your ability to attract a man and be the type of woman that every man wants to meet, check out Get Him for Life or contact us to get a free sample! And learn the secrets to attracting men.  These courses won’t teach you just how to get a first date.  They’ll teach you how to have a lasting relationship.

If men do not approach you, it means that you’re stuck on not using your body language correctly or having a trendy style.  If men approach you often but they don’t ask you out, you need to learn ‘What Men Want.’

5. How to Know what Men Want and Meet his Needs

The smartest women know that what men want and what men need are two different things.  They will give men what they want first, then they will give them what they need.

What do all great men want?

What men want and what they need are two different things, but women’s wants and needs are the same.

All men want an attractive, confident and trendy woman to have great companionship.  If during the first few dates she can show him that she is well rounded and is the kind of woman that he can show off to his friends and family and bring value to his life, he’ll need her and want to commit.

At my previous dating service, I coached a large number of women who thought that men were pigs that only wanted sex.  They would then wonder why they couldn’t find a guy.  Would you want to marry someone who thought you were a pig?  I didn’t think so.

The truth is, men want a loving relationship as much as women do.  They want lifelong companionship and a great family too.  Is there a difference between what men want and what women want?  Yes.

Initially, the difference is that women think, “I need a boyfriend/husband,” when they don’t have anybody yet.  Men think, “I need a date and great companionship.” The reason women don’t want to date several men is because they’ll be considered sluts.  However, society doesn’t see anything wrong with men dating several women at the same time until they find the right one.  (Not very fair, huh? Historically, men chose who they wanted, and women would wait to be picked.)

The mistake most women make and where they’re stuck is that they don’t want to accept how different men are.  They’re looking for their own qualities in a relationship, so they’re really looking for another woman.  You need to wake up and realize that if you’re looking for a man’s body, you’re also going to get a man’s mind.  You don’t need another girlfriend.

Before I ran my previous dating service, I thought that women were more romantic than men.  After running the dating service for a year, I learned that women will settle easily just so they aren’t alone.  Men aren’t like that.  They will shoot for the stars (and I don’t mean a movie star) and search and search for their soul mates. If you can show that you are his star, you’ll be the woman he will pick.  To do that, you need to know everything that men want and need.

If this is where you’re stuck, check out a free trial of my courses, by contacting info@nouveaudating.com.

6.    Avoid the Most Common Mistakes on the First 8 Dates

The beginning of any relationship is when it’s at its most fragile.  After you’ve dated someone for a while, you have a lot more liberties.  If you offend him after 6 months worth of good memories, he’ll be more likely to forgive you and move on.  But, if you say something that he finds offensive on the first 3 dates, he might not give you a second chance.  You have to be extra-careful and extra-knowledgeable on the first 8 dates if you want to build a relationship.

The first 3 dates are the most crucial.  That’s where the spark begins.  It’s very important to know what to do and what not to do.  After that, you can relax more, but not completely.

Be sure you know topics to avoid on the first three dates.

  • Don’t discuss previous relationships. If your date asks you, politely say that it just “didn’t work out” and you want to discuss this topic later.
  • Don’t ask about his family.  It’s too much of a gamble.  If he doesn’t have a good relationship with them, it could be a disaster.
  • Don’t talk about sex on the first date.  Above all, do NOT ask your date how many sexual partners he’s had.
  • Don’t talk about marriage on the first 3 dates.  Avoid questions like, “Do you see a future for us?”
  • Don’t ask, “What do you think of me?” or “How am I doing?” You’re just putting your date in an awkward situation in which he’ll feel obligated to lie.

Usually, date #8 is when a guy will decide if he wants to be in a committed relationship or continue to casually date.  Once he has decided not to commit to you, you’re done.  It’s really difficult to change his mind.  The impression has been made, and that’s that.

Some people are naturals at dating, but most of us aren’t. Check out Nouveau Dating for tips throughout the dating process!

7.    Learn to Be a Woman that Men Want to Commit to

“Dating” does not mean commitment.  This is why women hate dating and men love it.  To be a great woman that men want to commit to, you have to make him feel that somebody else is going to grab you and commit to you before he does.

Men like to compete.  More so, they like to win.  If a guy wins a great woman, he wants to make sure he commits because he knows that if he doesn’t, she’ll find another man who will.

What does it take to be the woman that men want to commit to?  The short answer is you have to be the kind of woman that other men want.  A great woman will be prepared to leave if her man is not going to commit.  He’ll sense that she’s not going to put up with his games, and end up committing.

Have you ever met a guy, everything was going great, but he didn’t want to commit?

He might not commit because he’s afraid things will change if you get married.  The way he’s sees it, things are going great, so why rock the boat?  If he gets to see you as much as he wants and the sex is good, he might think that he has too much to lose if things change.

Another reason he might not commit is that he’s worried about finances.  He doesn’t want to deal with an expensive divorce, or he doesn’t feel that he has enough money to support you.

Probably the most common reason why he won’t commit is that he’s waiting for his perfect soul mate.

How can you convince him that you’re his perfect soul mate?  Better, how could you actually become his perfect soul mate?

Unfortunately, a lot of women are looking for unconditional love (He needs to love me the way I am!), and doesn’t exist in romantic relationships.  He’s not like your dog or your son. You need chemistry to connect, but to keep the connection valuable you need to meet his needs, and he will commit.

As you probably guessed, the answer to this question isn’t short and simple.  The best way for me to tell you is for you to check out a free trail of my courses, email info@nouveaudating.com for frial trials!

 

We’re here to help! Please contact us if anything comes to mind. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter for more info. If you’d like a PDF of the guide, send us an email and we’ll be happy to send one your way!

With Love & Good Luck!

Anna