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April 30, 2013

Breaking Up is Hard To Do

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Written by: Claudia Alpert
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Breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend can be a traumatic experience. Here you just had a serious and intimate relationship with a single human being. It was more than just a friendship and that person wasn’t anything like family, but there was this strong bond you felt when you were with them and you mostly likely did everything together. Literally everything. If you just needed to talk to someone, they would be there for you even if they didn’t feel like talking. It was an unspoken agreement between two people that said you will be there for each other no matter what.

Unfortunately, many good things come to an end. You might have broke it off with them, they might have dumped you. They may have done it in person or through a simple text message that said “Im breaking up with U”. No matter how it happened, it hurt. Just a few days before you may have thought you were going to be with that person for the rest of your life. But things changed.

How does one go from having someone who was practically attached to them at the hip to going back to sleeping alone at night? The entire relationship you just had is gone and you’re expected to forget about everything and just move on with your life. Move on like nothing ever happened. Unfortunately it is much easier said than done. Although I cannot help make your break up easier or even make the pain go away, I will tell you three things you need to help get you through this.

A Busy Schedule 

As much as I love sitting on my butt alone in my apartment, it’s not healthy to become a hermit. This applies even if you haven’t just gone through a breakup. You will lose energy if you don’t get up and keep your mind and body busy and being alone with one’s thoughts can have a negative impact on your mental state. You will keep wondering what went wrong and that the break up was your fault. The important thing to remember is that no matter what the reason was for the break up, it’s over now and it is not something you should hold on to. Go hang out with the friends who will love you no matter what and do something fun (karaoke anyone?)!


This is something most people forget. It takes time to get over any past traumatic experience. How long do I have to wait, you ask? This I cannot tell you. It may only take you a few weeks to get over an ex. It might take several years. Some people say you never get over your first love, which sounds absolutely ridiculous and if you have that mentality, you certainly will never get over them. So I say no matter how long it takes, be patient and you will eventually be able to move on. Just hang in there.

Love (for yourself)

I know every single therapist has told you this and it sounds like something out of a sappy self-help book, but it is necessary. You have to be your own best friend especially in tough situations such as breaking up. There is no one else out there who is as trustworthy as yourself! And just like RuPaul says: “If you can’t love yourself, how the HELL you gonna love somebody else?!” Amen, RuPaul. Amen

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About the Author

Claudia Alpert
graduated from Columbia College Chicago with a degree in Advertising and a concentration in copywriting. From a young age she found her love of writing and was even considering becoming a creative writing major. When it comes to relationships Claudia is looking to share her knowledge of online dating with Nouveau Dating readers.

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