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November 14, 2013

How to Console a Friend After a Breakup

console-friend-breakup

There are a few points in a girl’s life when she really need her friends and one of those times is after a breakup.  Following a painful breakup, a girl looks to her friends for advice, a shoulder to cry on and for a reason to get out of the house. If one of your best friends experiences a rough breakup, use the following tips to help ease her through the pain.

Spend Time with Her (And Maybe Bring Her Some Ice Cream or Chocolate)

Following a breakup, a girl definitely needs her friends by her side. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about what happened, but having her closest confidantes around her will ease her into divulging and processing some of the details of the breakup. Bring over some of her favorite snacks or her favorite movie and try to take her mind off the painful memories of the breakup.

Listen and Talk

Once your friend feels steady enough to talk about the breakup, turn up your listening skills. She’ll probably need to vent and if she chose you to be the lucky audience, you need to make a sincere effort to listen and talk her through everything. Girls pride themselves on their listening abilities, so make sure yours are on point when your friend needs it most.

Be On Her Side

There are two sides to every break up but even if she might have made mistakes, try not to take her ex’s side. You’re there to comfort your friend, not argue about who was right. Let her know you’re on her side and that her ex is missing out on a great girl. If you believe your friend did something significant to harm the relationship that you need to discuss with her, give it time and wait until she can handle it. Don’t bring it up when the breakup is still so raw. Not everyone can take criticism in a time like this, so only you will know if your friend is ready to hear your truthful take on the situation.

Be There When She Needs You

Now is not the time to flake out on your friend. This is her time of need, so don’t cancel plans with her unless you have a valid excuse. Just think about how you would want your friends by your side if you ever had to deal with a harsh breakup. You don’t have to be at her every beck and call, but try to make yourself available when you can.

Give Her Something To Look Forward To

See if she wants to finally take that weekend trip you guys have been talking about or go see a new play that came to town. Whatever it may be, give your girlfriend some sort of fun to look forward to.  After all she’s been through, she probably deserves a fun night out or weekend with the girls.

Respect Her Alone Time

Everyone handles breakups differently and if your friend is looking for some alone time instead of a girls night out, be understanding. She might need some time to clear her head or reflect on what went wrong in order to move on from the grieving stage. If she’s still keeping to herself after a while, check in and make sure everything is okay.

Encourage Her to Get Back in the Game

You should only do this when she’s truly ready to get back to dating. Forcing her to get involved with other guys (even only minimally) when she is still pining over her ex is a major no-no. She needs to be completely moved on if she’s going to have a better chance of finding love again. When you think she’s ready, let her know that her Prince Charming is still out there somewhere waiting for her.

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About the Author

Elisa Freese
Elisa Freese is a lifelong New Yorker with a Bachelor’s degree from SUNY New Paltz and a Master’s degree from New York University. She has always had a love for writing and now that school and homework are finally done forever, Elisa is going back to writing on a regular basis. In addition to writing, Elisa loves anything that has to do with traveling, shopping, social media and TV/movies. With her experiences, as well as the experiences of her friends and family, Elisa hopes to shed some light on the ins and outs of dating to the readers of Nouveau Dating.




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