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July 11, 2013

Expiration Dating: Should You Have a Fling?

have-a-fling

Hey Most Brave Girl,

I just had a spark with someone who is moving away in two weeks. Dare I start something with her, even if it’s destined to end before it really takes off?

Anxiously,

Worried About Nomad, Gauging Unrealistic Scenario

Dear WANGUS,

It depends on the dynamic of your relationship. Please consider the following three scenarios:

If You’re Both Powerful Keen on Each Other

If you really like each other, you might as well. You’ll have a good time for two weeks, have an bout of probably-constructive, poetic heartbreak when it’s over and be a better person for it by the weekend. If nothing else, it will give you something/someone to do, and everyone likes that kind of diversion. Your only obstacle will be avoiding the buzzkilling melancholy that comes with thoughts of your imminent farewell. Try your best to keep everything breezy during the two weeks and make sure that you keep your intentions clear. You don’t want her getting the idea that you’re going to be making lots of late-night, half-toasty phone calls to her about how much you miss her and how you’re coming to visit (and you better not make any of said phone calls after she leaves).

If She Wants You to be Her Black Kate Moss Tonight but You’re All, No

If she’s a litttttle (a lot) more attached than you, don’t get involved. It’s more likely that she’ll sink her she-raptor hooks into you and hold on far past the fling’s expiration date, complicating your life with extra drama. The three questions you must ask yourself: 1) How likely is it that she’ll have trouble letting go? 2) How bored am I? 3) Does my intense boredom make me care about her feelings less than I care about entertaining myself? Those are phrased in a way that makes you sound like a bad person, but if you’re bored enough, you’ll probably do it no matter what. Try to exercise a little discretion and decide if she’ll go unhinged if you do a thing for two weeks and then end it. If you think she’ll probably be okay, go for it. Unless she’s off her nut, how much can you really mess with her feelings in two weeks? While it’s not your responsibility to protect her feelings, make absolutely sure that you don’t lead her on.

If You Have a Raging Short-Term-Fling Stiffy and She’s All, Gross

If you like her more than she likes you, it’s a toss-up. You’ll have a great time, she might be dynamite in the sack (if you guys are intercourse companions) and it might be worth it to you, even if the end is desperately bittersweet. Nice memories are nice. On the other hand, it might add a confusing, distracting and distressing dimension to your life that will outweigh the benefits of the fling. Figure out if your desire to keep away the mindfucks is stronger than your desire to have a brief, passionate-but-largely-meaningless relationship. If your priority is to keep your brain intact, turn her down.

Conclusion

It probably doesn’t matter. You’ll both eventually be fine and you’ll get some practice interacting with your own species, which can only be a good thing if you’re planning on showing your stiffy to other ladies in the future. HA!

Do you have a question about dating, love or the single life? Leave it in the comments and I’ll reply in next week’s Question & Answer!





About the Author

Most Brave Girl
MostBraveGirl is the Executive Editor for Nouveau Dating and Love is Everywhere. She is a search and destroy robot for anyone acting stupid while trying to get laid. Ask for her help if you are one of those people.




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