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January 19, 2013

How to Break Up With Your Soon-to-be-Ex

Young couple sitting on the bed separately

Everyone knows when the end of a relationship has come for them. Unfortunately, though, that end may not always be so clear to the other person in that relationship. Breaking up is one of those things that everybody tries to avoid, perhaps because they know how significantly hurtful it can be to the person being broken up with. But don’t let that fact scare you away from ending something that isn’t truly making you happy. Learn how to break up with someone the right way.

Be Clear

When you are breaking up with someone, don’t give them an excuse to think that you are still together. Clearly end the relationship, and provide them with the best form of closure you can. Be sure to clarify how much you want to remain in each other’s lives (or how much you never want to see them again). Give them a chance to have their questions answered, without necessarily providing an atmosphere for them to ask those questions.

Be Considerate

Keep in mind that although you are breaking up with your soon-to-be-ex to, ultimately, improve both of your lives, your soon-to-be-ex may still be attached. Even if this isn’t the case, rejection isn’t fun for anyone. Don’t say mean or spiteful things just for the sake of saying them. Take the “high road” as often as possible, because this will, most likely, be a memorable event for both of you. You don’t want to taint your image by being unnecessarily cruel.

Understand

Know that you probably are going to hurt or have hurt your ex. Be accepting of that fact while trying to keep the interaction as positive as possible. Try to keep physical contact (kissing, sex) out of the breakup to prevent further confusion on either of your parts (hugs are almost always allowed). Remember, you’ve probably been broken up with, too. Try to remember what went wrong, then, and do everything in your power to be the bigger person, here, and make the break up go as smoothly as possible.

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About the Author

Hannah Goodman
Hannah's inherent interest in human relationships inspired her to study psychology at CU. She plans to take that passion and focus with her to graduate school, where she will pursue a degree in writing and will continue to write her memoir on her past relations.




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