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November 28, 2012

How to Find Him

how-to-find-him

I have an amazing friend who throughout her 20’s, dated a lot.  She enjoyed getting to know a variety of men; professionals, blue collars, type As and the ultra laid back. She, however, had never come close to finding him.  People would ask, “What’s your type?” She would reply, “I have no idea; I could fall in love with the garbage man because of the way he holds my hand.” She thought being open-minded was endearing and would open doors to meet men, but finally she realized she was goalless and idle when it came to love.

Here are 3 keys to finding a good guy

Identify the qualities that you want in a partner. Thinking in general terms like, “tall, dark handsome” won’t help you find your perfect man. Write down what you want in a partner. Think about which characteristics compliment you, your personality, lifestyle and goals. Recall past relationships and pick out the good from them, any lessons learned and apply those when you create your “ideal man” list. Focus what you want in a partner rather than what you don’t want; desire moves you in the direction of your dream.

Be authentic. Are you a drinker, a smoker, a candlestick maker? Whatever you are just be your authentic self.  Just as you want to get to know the true essence of someone, a prospective partner wants the same. Ultimately, misrepresenting yourself is a recipe for disaster, as your true self will always shine through. So just embrace, accept and love all of your faults, flaws and awesomeness.

Be proactive and go after what YOU want. Now is not the time to sit back idly online or on a barstool waiting for someone to approach you. If you’re on a dating site email the guys you’re interested in, don’t wait for them to email you.  Don’t waste too much time with guys that don’t match up with your “ideal man list.”  Find and attend meet-ups groups. If you’re into the sports, music or reading search out meet-ups of like minded men.  When you’re out with your friends, a smile and friendly “hello” can initiate any conversation and subsequently a date. Don’t be afraid to go after what you want!

These 3 tips will help you avoid making the common dating mistakes of not being in control and goalless when looking for love.  So develop your game plan for finding a good guy, identify your ideal, be yourself and take inspired action!

 

 

 

 





About the Author

Beth Brandstatter





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