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December 13, 2012

On Virginity

on-virginity

Our society is full of conflicting messages, but none is more glaringly confusing than the promotion of virginity in a truly sex-crazed society. Young girls and boys everywhere are bombarded by sexual images and notions on a daily basis in song lyrics, movie and video game content and magazine covers. Yet they are still overwhelmingly pressured to “save” that “special moment” for someone equally “special.” Girls and boys begin to receive conflicting messages on this notion at an increasingly early age, coercing them into ultimately equating their first sexual encounter with the pivotal climax of their sexual lives (no pun intended).

However, the hope for a perfect and special first “time” could be perhaps wishful thinking, given the realities of todays social norms. Let’s examine the facts. An individual’s sexual skill set is going to grow with their experience and improve with time. Believing that it will be perfect can put a lot of pressure on the situation. Try relaxing a little bit, know that it is going to be great however far from your ideal of “perfection” it may be. Now about the special someone. It’s all about what is right for you. Maybe the two of you have been together for years,  maybe you just met. Whatever the situation may be, as long as you are excited about it and feel comfortable it will be great.

Expectations for a moment as crucial as the loss of one’s virginity can be enormous, and expectations generally lead to disappointment. Maybe it will be awkward, maybe it will be wonderful, whatever it is, let it be exactly that. The definition of “sex” is different for every individual; it means a lot to some people and nothing to others, and that meaning often transforms over time according to personal experience. Everyone has a different intrinsic definition for “special” or “perfect,” so everyone will see virginity (or losing it) in a different light. We should only hope to have a solid definition of what sex means to ourselves at the moment that we first choose to discover it. Think of the emotional risks and know what you want from the experience, so when you do find that special someone, it is likely that you can avoid potential disappointments. Be smart when it comes to knowing if the time “is right” and enjoy yourself.

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About the Author

Hannah Goodman
Hannah's inherent interest in human relationships inspired her to study psychology at CU. She plans to take that passion and focus with her to graduate school, where she will pursue a degree in writing and will continue to write her memoir on her past relations.




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