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Dating Tips & Relationship Advice


April 24, 2013

Rejecting a Pick Up

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Written by: Claudia Alpert
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A couple of weeks ago, I was on the bus on my way to class. Just sitting there listening to my iPod, I noticed a guy staring at me, but I chose to ignore him. A few minutes later, I found him standing right next to me. Unable to hear him, I took off one of my headphones and said “Sorry?” He replied “Hi. You go to Columbia?” I was holding my Columbia College notebook in my arm. To which I responded “Yeah”. He continued. “I think I recognize you. Have you ever been on the website okcupid?

Well, crap.

I was utterly embarrassed and admitted to him that I used to be on the website, but was no longer. He then asked me if I would like to have coffee with him sometime. Now before this, the only time I had been picked up by a guy was online or at a bar when I had several friends with me. I sort of panicked and not knowing what to do, I gave him my number.


I had no interest in seeing this guy ever again. A few days later he texted me and called me and I just had to ignore him.

About a week later, I was on the train platform at about 2 am coming home from a party. I was tired and slightly inebriated and I just wanted to go home. Then I heard a voice “Excuse me.” I turned and saw a man standing beside me. He then said something about how I looked like a total catch and asked if I would like to have dinner with him sometime.

Oh, brother.

I paused for a second and thought about what I should do. I was not about to make the same mistake as I did before. So I said “Okay. Do you have a business card or something?” He said no, but I put his number in my phone. Our train came and I sat down and tried not to look at him even though he sat fairly close to me. As his stop was approaching, he said “Well it was nice meeting you. Hopefully I will see you soon.” He then proceeded to put his arm around me and then TRIED TO KISS ME ON THE CHEEK.

Oh hell no.

Disgusted, I deleted his number from my phone as soon as he walked off the train. I don’t think I was planning on calling him anyway, but this was a deal-breaker.

Did I feel bad about rejecting these men? Absolutely not, but many people do in fact feel bad about saying no to anyone. If you are not attracted to a person who asks you out or do not feel you have some sort initial chemistry with them, you don’t have to go out with them to see if you’ll change your mind. Yes, looks aren’t everything, but there still needs to be an attraction. Plus trying to pick up a young woman on a train platform at two in the morning isn’t exactly something that makes me want to swoon over a guy. Be smart about where and when you hit on someone! If you need more tips on how to reject someone kindly, read this article.

So, readers, the moral of the story: do not give out your number if someone wants to go out with you. And for those of you who are the “pick-uppers”, if they are interested, they will call or text you. Don’t be afraid of rejection and certainly don’t be afraid of rejecting. I give those men credit for putting themselves out there like that and I wish them the best in their love lives.

Just remember: always be picky about pick-ups.

About the Author

Claudia Alpert
graduated from Columbia College Chicago with a degree in Advertising and a concentration in copywriting. From a young age she found her love of writing and was even considering becoming a creative writing major. When it comes to relationships Claudia is looking to share her knowledge of online dating with Nouveau Dating readers.

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