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July 9, 2013

The Myth of the Nice Guy

myth-of-the-nice-guy

Are you always pining for girls from the sidelines? Always on the bench? Never the bride? Another cliché of your choosing? But how could that be? You’re such a nice guy.

There’s a batch of chronically-single guys who are constantly whining about girls rejecting the nice guy. Stupid women, always going after the bad boy who treats them wrong. A bad boy would never do the nice things you would do for a girlfriend, like play with her hair all night and kiss her on the forehead before bed.

WRONG

Women might not want you, but it’s not because you’re nice. More importantly, just because you’re nice doesn’t mean that they should sign up with you. If you think that you deserve a girlfriend because you’re nice, you’re not ready for a relationship. You basically have as much to offer as this machine that draws a picture of penis. But at least it provides the goods without being so entitled.

A Human Bot’s Default Setting Is Nice

Yes, it’s good to be nice. Obviously. But you don’t deserve any accolades from anyone for having a polite demeanor and pleasant attitude. To function in society, you should be nice to people. It is presupposed social norm. Expecting a reward for being nice is like expecting a hearty handshake for NOT socking your neighbor in the face. You’re not doing someone a favor by not punching them. But it would be reasonable to expect a sincere thanks if you made your neighbor a neat salad.

To recap, if we were grading humans, here’s the breakdown:

  • Socking in the face = F
  • Neat salad = A
  • NOT socking in the face aka being nice = C

As a nice person, you’re barely passing.

Women shouldn’t be grateful that their boyfriend is nice to them. Their boyfriend is supposed to be nice to them. Their boyfriend is supposed to be the nicest person in their lives. If he’s not, he should be ditched for someone who is.

A Good Boyfriend Shoots Way Above Nice

Maybe you have a few other marketable qualities, like being clever and creative (read: you invented a penis-drawing machine) so you have a some good things to offer (unlimited use of said machine). Start embodying and showcasing those qualities instead of expecting girls to like you because you’re passable as a decent human being.

You need to be so much more than nice to be a good boyfriend. Interesting, exciting, ambitious, curious—I would gladly date a dude who is all of those things but gets a little fussy sometimes than a guy who has nothing to say for himself but is sugary cupcake nice to me.

Good treatment is a necessity in a relationship, so you should continue being nice. Just make sure it’s not the only thing going for you. Personally, I’m insulted if “nice” is the first word out of someone’s mouth when they’re describing me. It’s boring, it’s trite and it’s something people say when they can’t think of anything else. Even a slightly negative descriptor is better in the top spot than nice. At least “opinionated,” “brash” or “reminiscent of Jafar from Aladdin” inspire some follow-up questions.





About the Author

Most Brave Girl
MostBraveGirl is the Executive Editor for Nouveau Dating and Love is Everywhere. She is a search and destroy robot for anyone acting stupid while trying to get laid. Ask for her help if you are one of those people.




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