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July 11, 2013

Crimes of Dating

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Written by: Naomi Rouff
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Let’s say you really like someone. You think she’s really cute or you’ve told your closest friends how much you like him. If you want it to work out, check yourself! Don’t do any of these gross, weird, creepy or annoying things or your new crush will be sure to run for the hills before you can text “I’m sowwy.”

1. Texting Like an Idiot

Here’s a tip: Speak using full-length, dictionary-approved words. You have a full keyboard on your phone, you have autocorrect and you’re not dumb. So why in the world would you text any variations of the following: “no plans rele,” “mite go to da partee l8r,” or “wheres dat gurl,” just to name a few. Sorry, but no one is going to tell you that they ditched you because you are so annoying over text that they just couldn’t take it. They’ll just tell you to lose their number.

2. Chomping on Your Gum

There is no excuse for looking like a cow. It’s really nice that you’re taking the time to make sure you taste like wintergreen, peppermint or double bubble but sometimes you take it too far. For example, if you wake up in someone’s bed with last nights Big Red still in your mouth, you’ve gone too far. I don’t even want to think of the blow up that would ensue if it ended up in her waist-long hair. Keep in mind that before you lean in for the kiss, have the foresight to lose the gum.

3. Saying “That’s So Funny” Instead of Laughing

The jig is up. If you thought it was funny, you would have laughed. Don’t try to pretend your love interest is the funniest person alive. Trust me, they won’t think it’s funny when the only time you ever LOL is when you use the letters L – O – L. Hopefully you have a good sense of humor and actually laugh when it’s appropriate. If you don’t, you better learn to fake it and quick.

4. Being a Stalker

Everyone does it (at least a little bit), but don’t overdo it. Do take a look at their timeline or their Instagram; don’t comment on their family reunion picture from last winter. And do not, I repeat do not admit that you stalked. Never utter the words, “Oh yeah, I saw that picture” when your date is talking about your vacation with friends from Spring Break two years ago. It does not make you look invested or genuinely interested. It makes you look creepy.

Keep these turn-offs in mind before he or she never calls again. Chances are if you suddenly got the cold shoulder from someone and you don’t know why, your new love interest didn’t have the heart to tell you that you were committing one of these foul crimes of dating.

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About the Author

Naomi Rouff
Naomi is the CEO at Nouveau Dating and is a natural writer on love, dating and relationships. She loves to share her knowledge on these topics and hopes to provide some fun and laughs along the way.




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