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May 9, 2013

Dating a Law Student

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Written by: Tracey Fuller
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As I am writing this blog, I sit next to my boyfriend, who is currently ending his second year in law school, and is making the finishing touches on his final presentation for tomorrow. This has pretty much been our foreplay for the past month, since he has been cramming in long study hours and working on tormenting group projects, leaving little time for a social life, yet alone a love life. My nights have consisted of eating Mint M&M’s (a treat he bought me) and watching reruns of Frasier on the Hallmark channel. Pathetic, you say? Actually, I am a bit overreacting, cause I am of course, a woman, and I have feelings (dammit!) and miss the boy sitting next to me watching Frasier. It sucks to admit this, but this is some of the stuff women get accustomed to when dating men who are pursuing their law degrees.

How Do I Not Become Psycho?

Ohhhh, trust me, it has happened.
When we were first dating, I didn’t understand why he couldn’t come out with me and my friends, or take me out on fancy dates EVERY weekend. “Like, you’re at school ALL the time. You can’t set aside 48 hours for me?”. No, he can’t. His life priorities are different, meaning school is numero uno, and I am second. Whaah!! I was so used to dating guys with no ambition, that I was actually offended he didn’t think about me 24/7. Or at least, most of every day. I finally decided that as long as I wanted to see him because he didn’t have the time to go out with me every weekend, I would commit some nights to sitting next to him on his futon while silently watching Netflix with my headphones on, and he would quietly read. And that is how some Saturday nights would go, my friends! He would, of course, make plans to go on dates with me when he had the time, or we would go out for a “quickie” dinner. Understanding that this is the most crucial time in his life to pursue his profession made me realize I needed to lay off him a bit, and him not being available all the time comes with the territory of dating a law student.

Make Other Plans

I have always been an independent woman, so most of the “psychoness” I had was in the honeymoon stage where I wanted to see him all of the time, and it eventually faded. I decided the best way to not miss him terribly if he couldn’t come out with me on the weekends was to make plans with my friends. I would go out and have fun instead of sit and worry about when the next Frasier episode was coming on, or what time my boyfriend would be coming home from the library. Sure, there are some Saturdays when I know he will be studying at school all day and I am like “Woo hoo!!  It’s frozen pizza and Revenge time!”. But, when he knows I’m going out, he doesn’t have to worry if I’m bored, or getting home at a specific time, and it’s less stress on him.

Relationships are always tested.  If this is our test, and we can get through this awful thing called “law school”, then honey, Frasier will have to do, for now.

About the Author

Tracey Fuller
Tracey is a Chicago native and has her degree in journalism from Columbia College. Her passion for writing about dating and relationships derives from her own experiences, as well as from friends conversations about their dating life. She has been a freelance writer for 10 years.

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