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Dating Advice For Women

May 28, 2013

Dating a Man with Kids – Part 5 of 5

Take-ownership-and-enjoy

Continued from Dating a Man with Kids Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4

Whether you are already dating a man with kids, are considering it or are simply interested in hearing more, this blog series is for you. Below is my last piece of crucial advice in a five-part series about what to expect when dating a man with children, including specific steps you can take to ensure a successful relationship for everyone involved.

Take Ownership and Enjoy

Ok, so you’ve done it – you’ve made the decision to stick with dating a man with kids! Now what?

Enjoy yourself! Relish every moment – the fun, the new and even the uncomfortable. You’re not the only one learning throughout this relationship – your counterpart and his children are too.

Take ownership in defining your relationship. You don’t have to be anyone else’s stereotype. You don’t have to be the next “mom” figure or the babysitter. It’s all in what you make of your relationship.

Someone once said that the difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them. Don’t let your man’s children become a handicap to your fun. Of course, you can’t take them everywhere (most people frown upon taking children to dance clubs or rated “R” movies), but realize that you can bring kids to a lot of places and still have a great time. Whether it’s a spending a day in the park with your boyfriend, wine and a picnic; attending a patio happy hour or your coed softball game, bringing children won’t change the dynamic that much. I speak from experience.

Doing the things you want to do, while still taking ownership in your decision to date a man with kids, will make your life much easier and more enjoyable. Frankly, as the relationship progresses, it becomes difficult to keep the children separate from the activities that you used to do by yourself.  You simply won’t have enough individualized time to dedicate to your friends, family, your boyfriend and his kids.  A word of advice: While I advocate bringing the children into your daily activities – you and your lover must carve out “alone time” in order to keep that flame going. I do not joke about my alone time.

Anyways, whatever decision you make – to date or not to date a man with kids – I hope you gained a little insight from someone who had and is continuing to have a first-hand experience. Feel free to email me at anpotrykus@gmail.com if you have any other specific questions – I’m happy to help!

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About the Author

Angela Potrykus
A freelance writer based in Denver, Angela earned her M.A. in Journalism from the University of Missouri. She’s “that” friend who isn’t afraid to dish about the good, bad and, yes - the ugly - aspects of dating, relationships and sex. Angela looks forward to sharing her relationship advice through the use of humorous first, second and third-person accounts.




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