Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

November 21, 2013

The Do’s and Don’ts of First Date Conversation


The first date is a defining moment of a relationship. If the date goes well, you will likely go on more dates. If it doesn’t, you’ve got to move on to the next one. While the first date can be awkward, you want to be sure that it goes as smoothly as possible. Awkwardness is completely normal during a first date and relatively easy to recover from, you don’t want it to get so out of hand that it ruins your date—and your chances of Date #2.

If you can keep the conversation flowing, the awkwardness will probably start to take care of itself. But what should you talk about? Sometimes it’s hard to come up with interesting yet appropriate topics of conversation. What can you say that won’t offend but will still allow you to take the conversation deeper than, “What’s your favorite color?”

DO Talk About Interests

It’s important to find out about each others’ interests during the first date so you can find out what you have in common and where you differ. Usually different interests are beneficial to a relationship, but it’s always good to be aware of what might be too big of a difference for you two to handle.

When you’re talking about your interests, make sure to keep a balance. You don’t want to talk about yourself the whole time (usually a turn off), but you also don’t want to focus too much on the other person and make them feel like they’re being interrogated.

DO Talk About What’s Important To You

It’s important to share your passions with your date and reveal an overview of what’s important to you. Presumably you’re having a date with this person because you’re interested in the possibility of developing a relationship and a shared future. It’s attractive to show that you’re passionate about something, so don’t be afraid to share. Also talk about the people who are important in your life and your relationships with them. This also allows your date an introduction to your life and the people in it, so if there is a future for you two, they know what to expect.

DON’T Talk About Exes

While it’s important to share and be approachably open on the first date, don’t mention your exes or past partners. You can share what works and doesn’t work in a relationship for you, but you don’t want to seem like you’re still hung up on an ex or bitter about a breakup. It also gets the new, fresh relationship you establish with your date off on the wrong foot; they will immediately compare themselves to your exes (or assume that’s what you’re doing). Your last relationship ended for a reason, so don’t make your new interest feel the need to compete.

Ultimately, remember that the purpose of the first date is to get to know a new person. Ask what you want to ask, but be sensitive if they don’t want to talk about something or give too many details. Be aware of your date’s body language and try not to let an awkward moment ruin the date if one happens to crop up. Make the first date conversation work for you, but make sure you have fun.

About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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