This week in obvious news, a recent study shows that the more often we have sex, the more likely we’ll report an increased level of happiness. In far more interesting news, it turns out that it’s not just the absolute amount of sex that makes us happy, it’s the knowledge that we are having more sex than everybody else. While all sexy happiness is good, trying to trump your neighbor’s sex life is probably not the most constructive thing for your relationship or your psyche.
Don’t Make This Harder Than It Needs To Be, Which Is What She Said
Sex is inevitably more complicated when you factor in what other people, outside of your relationship, are doing or thinking. You don’t need to take a quiz or hear statistics about how often everyone else is getting naked to perceive the happiness you get from your own sex life. Determining if you have enough sex to be happy in your relationship is like figuring out if you’re hungry or not. Ask yourself: Are you hungry? Great. Eat something. Are you happy with your sex life? No? Then have more sex. Or less. Talk to your partner and make sure both of you are happy. Let sex be whatever sex is to you. If your sex drive is pretty low-key, don’t have very much sex. If you’re a big fan of sex, have a ton of it—and don’t let other people dictate your sexual behavior or how it makes you feel.
Do What Feels Right in Your Relationship
Maybe you’re seeing someone who you like very much and you guys have good sex once a week. Both of you are happy with your relationship and the number of times per week you do the deed. You don’t feel sexual frustration nor does he have pent-up sexual energy that he would like to be expending. You guys are open and honest with each other. Everything is sexually dandy. Then one day you read an article online entitled “Are you frigid? You might be driving your boyfriend to get a Latvian sex slave. Make sure you’re keeping him satisfied with daily sex.”
Oh my God. He would never do that. Would he? But what if he wants more sex or dirtier sex or kinkier sex but he doesn’t want to say anything? I’m such a frigid withholding monster that we only have sex once a week! Am I driving him away?
Now you’re upset. You feel inadequate and anxious because according to some bullshit on the internet, you aren’t doing it enough. But other people shouldn’t be in charge of validating your relationship. If you like it and you’re happy, it’s good. No matter how much sex the rest of the world is having, their sex doesn’t make yours any better or any worse. And the internet has no idea how much sex you need to stay happy.
Remember How Even Middle Schoolers Can Post Stuff Online
No one in this world knows more about what’s best for your relationship than the involved parties. Don’t fabricate anxiety when you have none just because other people are anxious about a certain topic. You’ll get anxious that you’re not anxious and being neurotic is a real boner-killer. Keep your mind out of this kind of trouble if you’re planning on continuing to one-up your neighbor’s nookie record.
Answer Finally Revealed! How Much Sex Should You Be Having?
I don’t fucking know. If you’re really clueless, maybe try asking whoever you’re having sex with.