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Dating Advice For Women

December 10, 2012

How to Find a Date

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Written by: Tiffany Jones
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We live in an information age. We are always logged on, texting, calling, emailing and Facebooking. We Skype, we blog, we chat and we search. We turn to the internet to find love and to find jobs, to reconnect with old friends and find new ones.  With technology we have forgotten how to flirt with our bodies and instead flirt by ‘liking’ someone’s posts or picture. The age old art of flirting in person has been replaced by hiding behind our phone, reading our Kindle or typing a message. Dating is emailing and mating is sexting. While online dating can be a successful venture for some it can also be a time consuming, repetitive disappointment that can actually limit opportunities to date and mate in real time.

If you are one of the many singles who has saturated every online dating site, you may be realizing there are not as many fish in the Internet sea as you once thought. Every time we go out into the real world, whether it’s the grocery store, a coffee shop, a park or the like we are swimming in a very visceral, game of fishing. Do yourself a favor and try this experiment. Turn off your phone, leave your computer at home, and go in eyes wide open. Make eye contact, with men and women alike. Offer a compliment, make a comment, or let someone go in front of you in line. Just be present, be aware and stop hiding behind your electronics. Even when it’s uncomfortable and challenging, step outside your comfort level and revisit your childhood social skills. Start a conversation and set a goal for an outing. Promise yourself to verbally interact with three people in the grocery store. Most of our communication is non-verbal. Body language and confidence cannot be observed on the computer.  In fact, many people may feel more insecure because they have forgotten the old fashioned way of flirting, dating and mating.

As we get older, we realize one night stands do not lead to long term connections.  However, when we are in a social situation we forget to be present, we forget to flirt and we make ourselves unapproachable. Instead of staring at a screen, hold your head up, take in your surroundings, be present and maybe just maybe you will meet eyes with the attractive stranger across the room. Don’t look down, since you have nothing to hide behind except a warm and engaging smile. Whether you’re male or female get comfortable making the first move. Offer a compliment or ask a question. People love to talk about themselves. Most importantly, be patient. Most people in our modern world are used to hiding behind technology, just as you once were.

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About the Author

Tiffany Jones
Tiffany Jones is the founder and CEO of Denver Sexology LLC. She is a registered psychotherapist and has been a sex and relationship coach for the last 11 years.

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