Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

August 21, 2013

5 Reasons Why Being Independent is Key to a Healthy Relationship


Being in a relationship is great. You always have a partner in crime around for good times and bad. No matter how much you love your boyfriend and girlfriend, though, doing your own thing every once and a while will lead to a healthier relationship. The first few months of dating may cause you to want to spend every waking moment around the person you love, but down the line that type of dynamic could end up hurting you.

Having your whole life revolve around your significant other could potentially cause problems. It’s important that you maintain a balance in terms of having a relationship and maintaining your sense of self for the following reasons:

1. Being yourself is what got you into the relationship.

If you begin to lose a part of yourself in your relationship, you could be losing what your partner loves most about you. They fell in love with you for all that you are and all that you do. If you allow yourself to change in a way that alters who you are negatively, it could put a strain on what you have together causing a fight or worse, a breakup.

2. You could make your partner feel bad.

If you start giving up things you love, it may cause your significant other to think it’s because of them. If your passions mean a lot to you and all of a sudden they are absent from your life, your partner may step back a bit to allow you the free range to get back to your hobbies. This in turn may cause problems within the relationship because you don’t know how to take this sudden distance when actually it’s for your own best interest.

3. You need to keep your own sanity.

Let’s be honest. Everyone needs some alone time. You don’t have to lead a separate solo life to have a healthy relationship, but a couple that embraces some independence understands that it’s important for the growth of their relationship. Go have some fun with your friends or family, or just by yourself. Take a yoga class or a trip with your friends over the weekend. If you end up hanging out every day, it could cause the both of you to get bored or irritated with each other.

4. It spices up the relationship.

While exploring your interests, you may be able to show your significant other a thing or two about something new. There will always be something new to explore out there, like cooking classes, a new book or a new place. You can allow yourself to share your interests with the person you love, while still maintaining a sense of independence. Not to mention doing new things can make you feel more interesting as an individual and allow you to be happier in your alone time, as well as when you are with your partner.

5. It will help if you ever break up.

A break up is always sad, but if you have no sense of yourself as an individual anymore you’re headed for more difficult times. If you lose who you are as a person and are solely dependent on your significant other, you will be absolutely devastated. Having a sense of independence allows you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on with your head held high. You’ll also be more sure of yourself as you make your way back into the dating scene.

Don’t be afraid of spending time apart. It’s a good thing. Embrace it and enjoy a stronger relationship.

Stay tuned for my next article where I’ll go more in depth about independence and offer some specific ways to express yours!

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About the Author

Elisa Freese
Elisa Freese is a lifelong New Yorker with a Bachelor’s degree from SUNY New Paltz and a Master’s degree from New York University. She has always had a love for writing and now that school and homework are finally done forever, Elisa is going back to writing on a regular basis. In addition to writing, Elisa loves anything that has to do with traveling, shopping, social media and TV/movies. With her experiences, as well as the experiences of her friends and family, Elisa hopes to shed some light on the ins and outs of dating to the readers of Nouveau Dating.

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