Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

January 6, 2014

How to Make That Break Up Happen

Make that Break Up Happen

Everyone has been in a relationship that they know the have to end. And everyone has stalled a for a little longer than they should have ending it. But putting off the break up just makes things weird and people get hurt, so stop procrastinating and make that break up happen.

Think of What You Want to Say Ahead of Time

Why are you breaking up? How you phrase it is very important, so try to keep it honest and simple. The break up conversation isn’t the time to place blame and point fingers. Usually keeping things neutral is the best. State your case as reasonably as possible.

Do Your Prep Work

If you live together, line up a place at a friend or family member’s house for you to crash. Even if you live separately, you can subtly start bringing home all the stuff that has migrated between houses so there’s not a huge buildup to sort through at the end.

There’s a Right Time and a Right Place for Everything

Pick a neutral place that doesn’t hold fond memories of your time together. Don’t make it too public, but sometimes semi-public is a safe choice. You should also try to be sensitive with the timing. Getting dumped right before an important business meeting or final exam can seriously influence someone’s life, so be considerate of your (ex-)partner’s schedule. Usually later in the evening is better. There will be plenty of time to talk, and when it’s over, both of you will still have time to call a shoulder to cry on if you need to.

The Method

If at all possible, do this in person, unless it’s a long-distant relationship and you have no choice. An easy option is to take a walk and have a bad-blind-date parachute on standyby (a good friend to call you with an emergency) if things start dragging out. Don’t be afraid to show your own emotions during the break up, and try to avoid impersonal, cliché dumping phrases.

Don’t Be Deliberately Cruel

Unless your partner did absolutely horrendous things (sleeping with your best friend, posting your bedroom activities in a public blog, killing the family pet), they don’t deserve to have their heart crushed. Keep it simple and to the point. If they ask questions, be patient. Everyone deserves closure.

Don’t Back Down

Your partner might try to reason with you or convince you why breaking up is the wrong thing to do, but don’t be persuaded. You’ve already made your decision. This isn’t a negotiation.

Staying Friends

If you end the relationship on good terms, let your ex know that you’d be willing to stay friend after you both take some time apart to cool the rough emotions between you. Don’t say it unless you mean it, though. Only offer this option if you will actually be friendly later. Also, talking about  your ex behind their back after it’s over is not a good way to make the breakup amicable.

If You’ve Got a New Prospect

Try to keep a new relationship toned down until the break up is old news. Publically broadcasting your new love will likely inflame your ex’s already painful wounds.

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About the Author

Amanda Juarez
Amanda Juarez is an aspiring nomadic freelance writer currently living in Colorado. Creative since the day she was born, she has many creative outlets from writing and art, to making jewelry and accessories, and even winning NaNoWriMo 2013. She spends much of her time learning abstract new things and hanging out with gamer friends. She hopes to be able to bring her experiences from living all over the county and translating the different cultures of dating into easy reading while adding a bit of geek to them.

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