Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

November 4, 2013

Playing Games & Fighting Men

profile of woman wearing boxing gloves over white background

Are you a game player or one of those women who yells “I am woman, hear me roar!” whenever a new man enters the scene?

Although it’s great that you’re trying to convey you are a strong, independent woman – sometimes this isn’t the best way to go about dating.

Many men may find it cute and fun that you’re giving them a hard time – they may even enjoy the challenge you’re giving them by not totally letting them in. But in the end, you will hit a big fat roadblock on your path to love.

“Oh…but we were having so much fun!” you may say. “Our first couple dates we were joking around, I was playing hard to get and he was loving it! He even asked for my number the first time we met and called the next day! That has to count for something right?”

Well….yeah, you cast out your fishing line and got a nibble. That’s great, but are you thinking this guy has some long-term potential? If so, here are some things to keep in mind:

1.    These hard-to-get games may transform from fun & challenging to boring & frustrating for your man: 

These games may get you a date or two, but a real happy and healthy relationship requires that you be your true self and open up to your partner – the same goes for him too. It’s very hard to do this when you have a wall built up just to show him how strong you are. Surprisingly, doing this actually shows weakness on your part. Letting down that wall and showing vulnerability takes true strength. If you have grasping how to tear down that wall, think about how you did so with your best friends. If you still have a wall up for them, seeing a therapist can help you to see why your struggling with this and can importantly give you the tools you need to break down that wall piece by piece.

If you don’t break down this wall you’ve built, after a few dates, your man might begin to get frustrated because he can’t seem to find the real you. He sees your persona, but can’t seem to break through it – no matter how hard he tries. He’ll know something isn’t right and will likely move on.

 2.    Or he might be an asshole: If he fell for your “hard-to-get” bait, there’s also a good possibility that he’s an asshole anyways who just wants what he can’t have–and once any sign of interest is shown on your part – poof… he’s gone. Now that’s what I call the polar opposite of a happy, healthy relationship foundation. Get rid of him immediately before he gets rid of you.

It’s important to remember that life grants us what we need and not necessarily what we want. If you are able to open up and be your true self when meeting prospective dates, you will always win in the game of love.

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About the Author

Laura Baines
Coincidentally born on Valentine’s Day, Laura has a passion for playing cupid by helping others find love. She has a degree in psychology from CU-Boulder and aspires to earn her masters in counseling.

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