Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

June 5, 2013

Am I His Girlfriend?


Dear Most Brave fGirl,

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months but we haven’t talked about being exclusive yet. Am I his girlfriend? How do I ask him?


Jumping the Gun

Dear JG,

You don’t. If you absolutely must, then you should start a different conversation. But I bet you don’t need to say anything at all.

Be Cool, Honeybunny
If this guy is acting like your boyfriend, then what’s the difference if he says it out loud? He’s either acting like your boyfriend or he’s not and either way, you have your answer. If he’s hanging out with you all the time, introducing you to his friends and family and generally treating you like you’re something special instead of just arm-candy, then you don’t need to ask him if he’s your boyfriend because he’s showing you that he is. Let it happen naturally and you’ll get to gracefully avoid the pressure that comes with a conversation about exclusivity.

Be Prepared If It Doesn’t Go Like You Planned
If you’re just dying to know, ask him if he’s seeing anyone else and then ask if he wants to date other people. Ask only those two questions, trust that he’s answering honestly and then drop it. For everyone’s sake, resist the urge to follow up with anything like “So are we boyfriend and girlfriend?” It will seem like you’re trying to lock him down. Assume that his intentions for your relationship are guiding his behavior and then you don’t have to be the girl who needs the validation that comes with a label.

Labels Mean Nothing
Maybe you ask him to be exclusive and he agrees. Remember that just because he says he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean that he’s going to magically change into your boyfriend. He’s not going to call you any more than he already does or all of a sudden become more committed to you. Wouldn’t you rather he start calling more often because he’s crazy about you instead of because you cornered him? Wait until his actions speak for themselves instead of forcing his hand.

If this guy wanted to be exclusive, he would be acting like it or he would have asked you. If you’re not sure if he wants to be your boyfriend, he probably doesn’t yet. That’s not bad! When he’s ready, he’ll let you know, but chances are, you’ll know already.

Do you have a question about dating, love or the single life? Leave it in the comments and I’ll reply in next week’s Question & Answer!

About the Author

Most Brave Girl
MostBraveGirl is the Executive Editor for Nouveau Dating and Love is Everywhere. She is a search and destroy robot for anyone acting stupid while trying to get laid. Ask for her help if you are one of those people.

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