Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

September 19, 2013

Why You Need to Focus on Self-improvement Before Dating

Woman trying to clean after spilling wine

People struggling in the dating game often make long lists of all the drawbacks of their exes or latest dates, but rarely take the time to examine the shortcomings within themselves. If you’ve been scouring the playing field for the perfect partner to no avail, take a moment to consider if you could be that type of partner for someone else. Sometimes swiveling the microscope of judgement around to yourself can be considerably revealing. If you find that you’re not exactly dream-date material, you might want to consider attempting a little some self-improvement before you try your hand at dating.

Self-improvement can take a multitude of different forms. Some people need to work on their trust isssues. Other have problems with anger, selfishness or low self-esteem. Whatever your issues, it’s important to work on them before you start dating. Too often people put the pressure of their happiness on the shoulders of their partner, which can crush a blossoming relationship. If you enter a relationship expecting that your partner will make everything better, you’re setting yourself and your relationship up for disaster. No one but you can fix your problems, just like you shouldn’t be expected to fix anyone else’s.

You don’t have to have all of your problems sorted out before you attempt to date. Everyone has baggage that they’re constantly dragging behind them. But try to lighten your load before you ask someone to help you carry it. Don’t let yourself get down about any of the issues you may have. Instead, try to be confident with your emotional progress and be hopeful that their resolution will create a healthier and happier you. Plus you’ll probably be a much more attractive dating candidate once you decide you’re ready to get back out there.

If you don’t know where to start on the road to self-improvement, try the internet. Look, you’re already here! Spending just an hour or two online reading about different ways to identify and approach your specific struggles can leave you with a plethora of new thoughts and ideas. Of course, because it’s the Internet, you might need to take whatever you read with a grain of salt, but if you’re seeking out legitimate websites you should be able to find some helpful information.

About the Author

Shana Diaz
Shana Diaz is a Colorado native finishing her BA in Creative Writing at Colorado Mesa University in the fall. Besides being a shameless romantic she also boasts of being a Nerdfighter, a Potterhead, and just an all around bookworm. When she isn’t stuck in the stacks at the library or working as a home health care aid, Shana enjoys spending her time gallivanting around the Internet with her long distance boyfriend and devouring the blogs of her favorite authors.

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