Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

November 26, 2013

Should You Date Your Ex?


It always seems like some cruel joke brought by the universe at your expense when an ex contacts you as soon as you are finally over them. While nothing good usually comes from this person making a reappearance in your life, we sometimes get optimistic and decide to reconnect with them. While catching up with an ex can be completely acceptable, is it ok to develop feelings for this person again or are you just setting yourself up to be hurt, again?

It can be hard to distinguish between an ex just being friendly, and  an ex  trying to get close to you. And it can be even harder to decide whether you should try it again with an ex or just leave the relationship the way it ended. I mean, is it even healthy to allow yourself to get close to this person that hurt you in the past? Should you be allowing yourself to have feelings for them again?

Stop and Think

Before you let yourself be overcome with your feelings for this person again, stop and seriously think about the situation. Why did your relationship with this person end in the first place? If they seriously hurt or wronged you, it is probably safe to assume that they may just end up hurting you again. If the relationship didn’t end on a sour note, and you both simply couldn’t make it work at the time, you may be safe in reconnecting. After all, it is possible that you both have matured and are at better places to make the relationship work.

Sort Through the Crap

If you are considering starting trying your relationship with an ex again, make sure that you are not dealing with a serial dater. Serial daters or players may continue coming back to past partners because they know that these people are easy targets for them to get close to. Nothing good can come from allowing a serial dater to get close to you again. You will always end up hurt. To be sure that you are not dealing with this kind of person, look at your own relationship. Why did it end? Was this person displaying the behavior of a player? Was there ever another person you felt that you had to compete with?

You should be the only person that they are interested in if they are trying to get back together with you. If you at all feel like they are not serious about making it work again or you feel that there may be someone else still in their life, don’t waste your time. You deserve to be the only person they are interested in.

Do What is Best for You

Seriously, this is the most important thing to remember. Make sure that you are making the right decision for you and that you are being realistic in your thinking. Do not get back together with this person unless you know for sure that it will not be a waste of time or damaging to you. Do not make the decision to try again with an ex based on false hope or the idea of having a perfect relationship with this person. If they have not shown any signs of changing, they probably have not.

Even more importantly, don’t get back together with someone to get even or to get back at them. Not only will you be wasting time and energy on something so unimportant and insignificant, but leading this person on to only hurt them the way they hurt you will never make you feel better. Don’t become an ugly person simply because some idiot hurt you. It’s totally not worth it.

About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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