Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

August 1, 2013

Do You Really Want To Lower Your Standards?


The most irritating thing I’ve been told by friends about my dating life is that my standards are too high and that I should lower them. Why is it though, that when a guy doesn’t meet our standards, we are the ones who have to adjust our expectations? Of course I’ve tried to lower them before. I’ve dated good guys who weren’t quite up to my standards because I thought I could make it work. I told myself that I could ignore the little things about him that I didn’t like. However, every time I have done so, I have regretted my decision. So why won’t you be happy if you lower your standards?

Standards Are The Result Of Experience

If you have created a specific standard or expectation, you have probably dated someone in the past who lacked this quality. Maybe you couldn’t handle your ex’s nonexistent sense of humor, or maybe you noticed yourself cringe every time he said “suposably” or “I could care less.” Even worse, maybe your ex was a total douche who called your friends awful names and occasionally suggested you go on a diet. These were obviously things that bothered you, so you set standards for the next guy. You now expect your next guy to be an intelligent gentleman with an excellent sense of humor. All realistic expectations and things that you deserve to have in a boyfriend. Obviously you learned in your past relationship that this was something you needed to have in a boyfriend, so why would you then throw that standard out the door for the first guy that comes along?

You’ve Already Lost 

If you have to tell yourself that you can ignore something that bothers you about him, you have already set the relationship up for failure. You already know that when you ignored these things in your last relationship, you were unhappy. Trying to trick yourself into thinking the same things that bothered you in the past won’t upset you this time will only work for so long. These things will bother you again, and you will end up resenting this guy just as much as you do your ex.

Never Settle for Less Than You Deserve

If you think you can find someone with the quality that is important to you, then hold out for that person. You shouldn’t have to settle just because you feel lonely or think that you should have a boyfriend right now. Be comfortable in knowing what you deserve and holding guys to a standard that works for you. He will come along, and when he does you will be happy you waited for him.

Impossible Really? Or Impossible For You

Sometimes when you have high standards, someone will tell you that these things are impossible and you need to be more realistic. There is such a thing as an impossible standard, but that doesn’t mean that your high standard is impossible. Expectations for dating are different for everyone. What may seem impossible for someone else may be extremely realistic for you. If you feel that your high standards can be reached, ignore the people telling you it will never happen. They have obviously given up hope for themselves and are willing to settle. That doesn’t mean that all of our standards are realistic. Be honest with yourself. If you are waiting for Ryan Gosling to show up at your door, start looking for something a little more realistic. You know yourself what is impossible and what isn’t. Don’t be one of those annoying women who uses “high standards” as an excuse to never date. It’s just sad and annoying. You still have to be open enough and cool enough to attract someone good.


About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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