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Dating Advice For Women

August 20, 2013

When Your Lover Becomes Your Roommate: Tips for Moving In Together

Happy couple in front of home

Once you take the leap from dating casually to having a full-fledged relationship, things can move pretty fast in the blurry euphoria that follows. Before you know it, you may be considering taking the next step and moving in together. If you find yourself contemplating cohabitation, you need to be aware of how this major lifestyle change is going to be for the both of you. Your relationship may struggle if either of you are ill-prepared. Luckily, there’s no need for strife as long as you discuss these three basic key issues that come up.


Money: It makes the world go round. As much as we’d like to deny that our life revolves around our bank account, money management is a hugely important aspect of being an adult. It might be uncomfortable to talk about, but you can’t avoid this conversation before you combine households. You both need to state clearly how you expect to pay your bills. Whether you combine incomes and split the bills down the middle, or divide up specific bills amongst the two of you, you need to hash out a plan and then follow through. If you can manage to avoid financial stress on your relationship, you’re making a huge step forward towards making your shared household work.


Deciding whose possessions to keep and what to trash can be a huge problem for couples. Solution: Go through your belongings individually and try to declutter as best you can. Once each of you has gotten rid of everything but the essentials, you can reunite and figure out what to keep. If you come to a stalemate over whose blender is best or which couch will furnish the living room, remember that keeping things in storage until you have more room or buying something new together are easy options to reach a compromise. Remember that what you own is not who you are, and being comfortably surrounded by the things you love is what helps make a house a home.


Some of the grand advantages to moving in together are things like never having to have meals or shower alone again! The disadvantages, of course, are sharing a bathroom and always having twice as many dirty dishes as you had in your bachelor pad. A messy abode can add unnecessary stress to any relationship, so beware of your hygiene habits and their affect on your partner. Figure out which chores you each prefer to do. If one of you can never be bothered to pick up the broom or can’t stand the hassle of vacuuming, ask your partner to take charge of these responsibilities while you cover something that they would prefer to avoid. Chores that neither of you particularly enjoy doing can be split between the two of you or even done together and used as a time to bond.

The move from lover to roommate is a difficult, yet exciting, change for any couple that feels up for the challenge. Though new living situations can become nightmarish when you’re unprepared, they can be a wonderful new chapter of a relationship if you’re willing to make compromises and communicate openly. If the moving truck hasn’t been rented and the lease has yet to be signed, do yourself a favor (and your relationship a great service) by talking through the decision as much as possible before committing to a big change. The inability to agree on finances, belongings or the shared responsibilities that come with sharing a life together may mean that you guys aren’t ready to make this drastic adjustment to your relationship just yet. However, if discussing these issues end up adding to the hype and excitement of moving in together, it may be the perfect time to start building a shared home!

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About the Author

Shana Diaz
Shana Diaz is a Colorado native finishing her BA in Creative Writing at Colorado Mesa University in the fall. Besides being a shameless romantic she also boasts of being a Nerdfighter, a Potterhead, and just an all around bookworm. When she isn’t stuck in the stacks at the library or working as a home health care aid, Shana enjoys spending her time gallivanting around the Internet with her long distance boyfriend and devouring the blogs of her favorite authors.

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