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Dating Advice For Women

December 7, 2012

When You Fight

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Written by: Beth Brandstatter
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Admittedly, makeup sex can be amazing! However, wouldn’t you rather have a great relationship, all the time, without drama? Guaranteed most guys don’t want the high drama or pressure that comes along with the talk/fight/makeup ritual. They want to be with the sexy, confident girl (that you know you are), without the drama queen baggage!

So, you’re mad, how do you deal with your feelings without pushing him away?  Is it possible to strengthen your relationship during times of conflict? YES!!

Cool Down. Close your eyes and think back on your last fight, could you have held off on discussing the problem for a few days until you both cooled down? By stepping away from an emotionally driven situation you’re able to take an objective look at what really happened (There are always three sides to each conflict- his, yours and the truth). So walk away, turn off the phone, do whatever you need to do to gain some space from the fight and gather your logical and rational thoughts.

Call a friend but not every friend. It’s normal to want to vent to friends, just limit who you talk to about your relationship. Your friends will start to resent you, your relationship and your partner if they’re constantly hearing only about your fights. Confide in ONE supportive friend; someone who knows your quirks, recognizes your feelings are transient and someone who wants to see you reach you’re ultimate goal- being in a healthy, fun and exciting relationship!  Use their feedback to process what happened and what you can do (on your side) to solve the problem and get back to having fun with your man!

Why are you really fighting? Have you ever walked away from an argument even more confused and angry than when it began? Figure out what the actual root cause of your frustration is, this will avoid talking in circles, off on tangents or talking about something irrelevant.

Alright, you walked away, you vented, you realized the root of the problem, so now what?

Revisit the conversation with organized thoughts in a timely manner. Designate a time at a neutral location to talk. You still have the opportunity to express how you were feeling but now you’re doing it in a logical, assertive way that your partner will relate to and respect you for. Once, you have a resolution, move forward without looking back. Remember, rationally talking out concerns, listening to each other, accepting the other person’s opinions will help you grow as a couple and turn these conflicts into an opportunity for growth.


About the Author

Beth Brandstatter

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