Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Advice For Women

July 30, 2013

Why He May Not Be Taking You Seriously


As much as it sucks, sometimes we have to face the reality that the guy we’re interested in doesn’t take us or the relationship seriously. There could be many reasons why he feels this way. One could simply be that he’s not in a place in his life where he wants, or can even handle a serious relationship. If this is the case, there is nothing you can do to convince a guy to want something serious when he isn’t ready to go there yet. At this point you can accept this fact and either move on or you can adapt your relationship to what he is ready for. Just be aware that adapting the relationship may not satisfy you, and you could become unhappy in your decision.

But what if being in a different place in life isn’t the reason why he isn’t serious about you? Sometimes our behavior can determine how we are seen. So, what are some things you do that may send him the wrong message?

Acting Like His Buddy

Sometimes the way you act in the relationship may give him the idea that you only want to be his friend. Watch that the way you joke with him doesn’t come off as friendly instead of flirty. You want to make it clear that you’re interested in something more. Also, definitely don’t share your experiences with other guys with him. He may interpret this as you putting him in the friend zone rather than trying to make yourself look desirable. Details about you and other guys is usually something he won’t want to hear if he’s interested in you anyway.

Effort In The Relationship

Finding the right amount of effort to put into a relationship is often difficult to do. If you play too hard to get, he could either think you’re not actually interested in him at all, or he might just give up trying to get you interested. Playing hard to get isn’t a bad thing at all, it’s usually the way to go, but try to find a balance between playing too hard to get and letting him know you’re interested in him.

Alternately, you could be trying too hard to get him to want you. You don’t want to come off as desperate. Don’t always be the first to text him, and if he doesn’t get back to you right away, never repeat text him. If he really is interested in you, he will get back to you eventually. Don’t make him lose interest in you because you bug him so much you become annoying.

Sleeping With Him Too Soon

While the timing of your sexual relationship may not always be important to a guy, some do consider it when establishing how serious the relationship may be. Sleeping with a guy too early in the relationship can make him question how serious you may be about him. In addition, it could either give him the idea that you are easier than he would like you to be, or it may be exactly what he wants. If he seems to only want to see you late at night, you may simply be a booty call for him. If this is the case, it is a safe bet that he definitely doesn’t take you seriously.

Of course these reasons aren’t absolutes. Instead, they are common reasons why he wouldn’t take you seriously. Every relationship is different. Go at a pace you think is appropriate with him. Ultimately, have respect for yourself and stay true to what you want. Listen to your gut, usually you know what to do before you realize it. If he ends up not wanting to take the relationship seriously, try not to dwell on what you may have done wrong and move on. As bad as it may feel, remember that you deserve respect.

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About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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