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May 13, 2013

Avoid First Date Disaster: Part 2


The Seven Deadly Sins of Dating

Some of these have been mentioned before as immediate red flags, but they bear repeating. If you are doing any of these things on a first date, please, please stop.

7. Be Too Self-Deprecating or Too Complimentary
“Man you are soooo hot! Why are you going out with a buttertroll like me? Oh man, I shouldn’t have said that, you probably think I’m weird now, don’t you? I’m not good at this, but you’re just soooo pretty.”

6. Talk About Yourself Too Much or Brag a Lot
You think it’s impressive that more than one of your cousins has told you you’re a 9? Sorry, but this is all I hear. If you’re going to spend the whole date talking about how awesome you are, just spare everyone the annoyance and wear something like this to the restaurant.

5. Talk Too Much About Anything, or Talk About the Wrong Things
For at least the first few dates, the following topics are off-limits: money, religion, politics, family problems, substance abuse, weird health issues and people or things that you hate. Talk about something that lights you up instead of casting a serious shadow over friendly conversation.

4. Get Hammered
Don’t do it. And don’t talk about how you are it all of the time. It’s not flattering. If you think it is flattering, go pick up someone who is also constantly hammered and flatter each other.

3. Be Rude to the Server
If your date is rude to the wait staff (or bartender or bouncer or cashier or anyone who is in the hospitality industry), I think it should be considered good manners on your part to call your date a trash can bitch and push their face into a nearby cake. Come on humanity, you should know better by now.

2. Obsessively Check your Phone or Engage in Too Much Texting, Facebook, Instagram, etc.
How much is too much? ANY. Turn your phone off. It should be common knowledge that a person who is occupying the physical space next to you takes precedence over a text that asks “OMFresh wut r u wharing? KHA-KEEZ?”

1. Talk About Your Ex
This is the most egregious first date offense. Every time you say your ex’s name, it’s like someone can see a little movie playing inside your head where a Savage Garden song comes on and your brain bursts into tears. And then explodes.

There are lots of horrendous first-date behaviors but these are the highlights. Ask for more examples or clarification in the comments and good luck!

About the Author

Most Brave Girl
MostBraveGirl is the Executive Editor for Nouveau Dating and Love is Everywhere. She is a search and destroy robot for anyone acting stupid while trying to get laid. Ask for her help if you are one of those people.

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