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November 7, 2013

Are You Too Clingy


Being in a relationship is a great thing and it should definitely be cherished, but how much time with your S.O. is too much time? While this really depends on the couple and the relationship itself, wanting to spend too much time with your S.O. actually might push them away. This is often known as being “clingy.” This problem usually happens when two people in a relationship are on different pages on how much time should be spent together and how much time should be spent apart. This issue can create problems in the relationship because, while you might think that all this time with your S.O. is good for the relationship, they may become easily annoyed with you or resent you for never allowing them to have time with their friends.

The problem though, is that it is often hard to tell if you are being too clingy in your relationship because the other person usually tries to hide the issue at first. There are some things that could clue you in on if you are heading toward the “too clingy” territory and there are of course ways to avoid further conflict.

Do You Spend Enough Time Apart To Actually Miss Each Other?

And I don’t mean the typical honeymoon-stage type of missing each other where you walk out the door and text them, “miss you already -xoxo.” I mean actually spending enough time away from each other that your time together is special and significant. It is important to spend time with each other, but you want to give each other enough space that you actually look forward to seeing each other when you do. Otherwise, your time together loses its meaning and one of you may quickly get sick of the other.

Are You Still Having Real Conversations?

Personally, I think that one of the worst things that can  happen in a relationship is when you text or talk on the phone with each other so much that you don’t even have actual conversations anymore. Instead, it’s a never ending cycle of “What are you doing?…Miss you…Love you…What are you doing now?” While these types of conversations are totally legit every once in a while, you should be able to have conversations with more substance. If you can’t, it may be a sign that you’re just texting them to text them, which again, may be seen as way too clingy and may push them away.

How Can You Give Each Other More Space?

As I have said in other articles, “me time” is an important thing to incorporate into your life regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. Allow your S.O. to have some alone time as well. Also, allow them to see their friends more often. Besides, you shouldn’t be neglecting your friends either. And allow them to see you as an interesting, separate person, not just an extension of them. The most important thing to remember is that you two are still members of society and you still have separate lives and friends that need attention as well. As long as you don’t put so much attention into the relationship that it loses its meaning or you start to push each other away, it is fine to spend time with each other and cherish the relationship.

About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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