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January 4, 2013

Exes

exes
Doesn’t it sometimes feel like everything is fated? You keep running into reminders of your ex – a song you guys listened to, the place you first met, a quirky thing they used to do that made you laugh. Then, your mind already super-charged with the past relationship and kind of missing them, you run into them! You start thinking to yourself, ‘maybe there’s a reason I bumped into him? Maybe love has given us a second chance for making the wrong choice last time’. Is it really meant to be, or just a strange string of coincidences?

Now you’re contemplating the big ‘what if’ – What if we actually got back together? Yes, there are positives to this, but then there are negatives. Here are reasons why it seems like a good idea, but in actuality, it will never work.

Lookin’ Good

For me, it always seems like the ex gets cuter after we break up. At the end of a relationship, we both seemed to appear less attractive to each other. That’s the image that sticks in your mind, sort of like a dating survival instinct so that you can adapt and push them out of your thoughts. That is, until you see them that pivotal moment, once again. Somehow, they seem to look even better than they did when you eyed them down the first time. That visual stimulation then affects everything else about them, and they seem like a different and better version of themselves.

Clean Slate

The funny thing about relationships is that we remember the entire courtship and breakup one way – our way – that seems to be slightly different from the other person’s memory of it. Then, when you meet again, swept away by the prospect of a new beginning, the ugliness of the breakup goes blank. What led up to it and why you drifted apart appear to be replaced by why you fell in love originally.

Right Time

With all the signs buzzing around you lately, fate looks like it’s pointing towards a fresh start. Since we keep drawing blanks about what went wrong in the relationship, we blame it on bad timing. Because of a level of comfort with this person, having been through the twists and turns of the commitment once before, a prosperous future seems possible.

It may feel like you crossed each other’s paths for a destined reason. But maybe that reason is to confirm the fact that having not worked once, it won’t work again. There are the rare exceptions, but whatever you do, be cautious, strategic, and lean towards logic over heart when first approaching relationships with exes again.

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About the Author

Samantha Daniel
Samantha Daniel is a Colorado native, attending Metro State University majoring in technical communication, with emphases in writing and editing. Her passion for relationships, dating, and romance unfolds in her articles.




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