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April 29, 2013

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

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Written by: Chase Greene
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It is far more likely Facebook will hurt a relationship before it nourishes one. That’s why my girlfriend and I made it a point to not become Facebook friends until six months into our relationship and here’s why:

 1.  Snooping is Scary

You don’t want to get caught in the black hole of obsessing over your partner’s Facebook page.  There will be pictures, posts, and comments that make you uncomfortable and squeamish inside, especially if they have a lot of ex partners.

2.  Facebook is Not a Foundation for a Relationship

Keep communication direct and personal at the beginning of a relationship.  You don’t want to start writing love notes on each other’s walls where it is visible for all to see.  This opens you up to criticism from your partner’s entire Facebook catalog of friends (including crazy ex’s).

3.  Pressure

When you become “Facebook official” there’s more pressure on your relationship.  It’s like your relationship is in a relationship with the rest of Facebook, and that’s too much unnecessary stress for a new couple.

4.  Facebook is Not Real Life

You don’t want to confuse your significant other with their Facebook profile.  They are not the same.  It’s much more natural and satisfying to get to know and love them in real life first.

5.  It’s Fun Keeping Your Profile a Secret 

If you happen to fall in love with someone, it’s mysterious and exciting to keep your profiles in the dark.  When you are comfortable with your relationship in real life, you can make it Facebook official.  Instead of being overwhelming, it will be amusing to start your journey as a virtual couple.

Once you’ve gone Facebook official, there’s no turning back, unless you want all of Facebook to see.  Make sure you and your partner are ready to make the digital jump before you send that relationship request.

Better yet, avoid becoming Facebook official altogether if you can.  What good can a virtual platform do for your relationship anyway?  I never write on my girlfriend’s wall and she rarely writes on mine.  I think we’re much happier that way.

Trust me, wait at least six months, and you’ll appreciate it.

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About the Author

Chase Greene
is a freelance journalist based in Denver. In 2012, he biked, camped, and hitchhiked his way from Massachusetts to Colorado with his girlfriend. Now he shares relationship advice, from the male point of view, in the hopes of improving relationships everywhere!

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