Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice


January 16, 2013

Get Your Ex Back


… Or Don’t

Hindsight is always 20/20. Sometimes, though, that reflection can lead to reconsideration of a breakup, regardless of how certain you may have been about its necessity at the time. Nothing hurts more than being rejected by an ex. So, we have to find out – is it really ever worth the risk to try to get your ex back?

Sometimes when we feel like we lack closure in a situation, we feel the need to return to it until that closure has been provided. But when you consider seeking closure in what seems to be unfinished business, be sure to include multiple outcomes. If you set yourself up for expecting closure to go “your way,” your it will only feel like closure has been provided if it goes in that specific way. In order to work the “seeking closure” excuse, you have to genuinely be open to every possible consequence of your visit to the past. Otherwise, you’re just seeking to manipulate someone’s life.

I can only assume that the vast majority of revisited relationships ultimately fail because they have to function under additional stresses. Most breakups happen for a reason, and we can often become forgetful of that truth. This is especially possible if you think a lot about the positive shared happenings in a relationship – the feelings, moments and memories. If, however, you have a more realistic scope, you may fare better. Perhaps focus on what the relationship turned into, instead of what it was in its glory. Be realistic about what actually happened and don’t kid yourself. Focus on yourself and what actually makes you happy and go from there. Don’t just search after the past because it’s comfortable. Change can be difficult, but it can definitely be worth it.

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About the Author

Hannah Goodman
Hannah's inherent interest in human relationships inspired her to study psychology at CU. She plans to take that passion and focus with her to graduate school, where she will pursue a degree in writing and will continue to write her memoir on her past relations.

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