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January 14, 2014

Important Lessons That We Can Learn From Our Relationships and Breakups


There are important lessons that we can learn from our relationships and breakups that will show us how to have healthier connections, and teach us things about ourselves that we wouldn’t have noticed. Every broken heart and every argument is for a bigger cause. What can you draw from your own love life to help make you happier in the future?


How to Deal With Loss

Breaking up is always hard, but it’s always worse when you can’t genuinely say you hate your ex. You were happy in your relationship and you can’t understand why you’re apart. This usually happens when the timing isn’t right, or two people just naturally grow apart.

In your head, the reason doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’re missing the person who made you feel like you could fly, and now it hurts. Would you rather enjoy all of the great memories you created or keep the relationship going just to add anger and resentment to a bond that was once pure bliss?

This breakup left you with a scar on your heart and you have to choose whether it heals or gets all gross and infected. If you heal correctly, you will find a way to have another great love.

How to Quickly Identify “Warning Signs”

This is important. There are a lot of people out there who have a comfort zone with relationships. It’s okay to have certain preferences, but dating the exact same “type” will give you the same results every time. After making a few mistakes, it should become easier to identify traits that you don’t want in a partner upon meeting someone new.

When you’re with someone who is no good for you, they throw signals at you left and right. Don’t let the excitement of new love blind you. Let’s say your ex was overly secretive about their friends and schedule, and now the new person you are seeing is the same way. Was your ex secretive because they had something to hide? Are you going to waste your time on a dishonest person all over again?

Don’t let your past make you paranoid, but you should only be comfortable playing the fool once.


Swallow Your Pride

Arguments aren’t a sign of an unhappy couple. Arguments are a sign that there are two living, breathing people in a relationship. Falling in love forces you to take responsibility for someone other than yourself. It forces you to swallow your pride, keep your word, and ignore your ego.

If you aren’t sure that you’re in love or not, you will definitely know after a heated argument. When you are angry at your S.O. but you didn’t conveniently forget to help them shop for their mom’s birthday present like you had promised, you can give yourself a pat on the back. You are officially in love and you’re being a total grown up about it.

Although, relationships are about two people, there is room to learn about yourself and to grow as a person. If someone helps promote this kind of growth inside of you, take a moment to tell them how lucky you are.


Who You Really Are

Relationships will teach you what you truly value versus where you can compromise and live without. You will learn when it is appropriate to be selfish and when you need to offer support. While heartache will teach you to raise your standards and accept things you cannot change.

Most of this will change over the years, but it is really important to track. You have to know who you are as a single person and who you are in a relationship to find a balance. Those two people shouldn’t be entirely different from one another. There is always room to grow with another person, just know they can’t make you happy if you aren’t true to yourself.

About the Author

Christina Scribner
Christina Scribner began writing poetry and short stories early in her childhood. As a freelance writer, her goal is to offer insight in the areas of relationships and beauty, drawing from personal experiences and studies. In her spare time, Christina still writes poetry, studies spirituality, obsesses over music, and loves hard. She is always excited to challenge herself and make life her teacher.

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