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December 31, 2013

Would You Go on a Date Set Up By Your Parents?


If you ask me if I would let my best friend set me up on a date, I’d say, “Yea, definitely”. If you asked the same question and replaced my best friend with my mom, I wouldn’t have such a positive response. Initially, the idea of being set up by your parents sounds like the perfect opportunity to sit through a horribly boring date with a goody two-shoes nerd. After thinking about it just a little harder, it may not be complete torture. There are pros and cons in every dating scenario, right?

The Positive

I hate to say it because you hate to hear it, but your parents will always look out for your best interest, and sometimes they know you better than you know yourself. If you can stomach thinking of your parents as older wiser friends who have made a lot of the same mistakes you’ve made (and are making) you might be on to something pretty good just by taking some of their suggestions.

I mean, they know your relationship history. From the way you interact with your siblings, to your friends in elementary school, to your most recent boyfriend or girlfriend. If your parents think you’ll get along well with someone, you just might. We live in a time where you don’t have to go into a blind date completely blind. Ask which social network(s) the person is a part of, and take a look at their profile. One, you need to make sure you are attracted to them. Two, there’s a lot you can learn about a person just by reading their posts.

Ask your folks why they think you and this other person are a good match. The answer to this question is the most important part of your screening process. If your parents really did their homework, you will have a great deal of information here to make an informed decision. If not, they are probably worried that you’ll end up alone if they don’t intervene, say “Thanks, but no thanks”.

The Negative

Is either of your parents a busy body who always nags you about settling down and having kids? Dating that cute intern in their office will give them a better excuse than any to drive you crazy. Don’t do it. While some parents know their children like the backs of their hands, others will make an already awkward situation more, well, awkward.

How can you find out if you parent’s good intents are going to put you in a strange position? Ask them how this all came about. Ask where they were, exactly who they were talking to, and how your lack of a love life entered the conversation. The story they tell will definitely raise a flag urging you to stop or go. If you feel that you were misrepresented at all, the flag is a stop sign. Do not proceed to the next round.

There’s an added amount of pressure dating someone that you were introduced to, especially if you parents introduced you. You might feel pressured to make the relationship work, or your teenage self might resurface just to screw things up in an act of rebellion. You should always weigh your options because you won’t have just yourself to answer to, and that sucks.

Actually, find a way to politely tell your folks that the details of your relationships are none of their business before they go overboard. But don’t forget to assure them that as soon as you find “The One” they will be the first to know.

About the Author

Christina Scribner
Christina Scribner began writing poetry and short stories early in her childhood. As a freelance writer, her goal is to offer insight in the areas of relationships and beauty, drawing from personal experiences and studies. In her spare time, Christina still writes poetry, studies spirituality, obsesses over music, and loves hard. She is always excited to challenge herself and make life her teacher.

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