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September 12, 2013

Tell-Tale Signs You Haven’t Moved On


Breaking up sucks. Everyone knows it. One of the worst parts of a break-up (especially if you were the one who got dumped) is moving on. One moment  you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and the next, they are out of your life. Eventually, though, we know it’s time to get back on the horse.

Before you jump back into dating, it’s important that you have completely moved on from your ex. Being stuck in the past as you’re trying to find someone new is never a good idea. How can you tell if you haven’t moved on? You might be guilty of one or all of the following:

Drunk Texting

Today’s technology is a blessing, but after a break-up it can allow for some bad mistakes. If you’re out with your friends and you find yourself drunk texting your ex, you need to stop. You’re generally more emotional when you’re drunk; you feel more free to do and say what you want. Drunk texting is a surefire sign that you still have feelings for your ex. What’s even worse is when you delete their number but still find a way to get in touch when you’ve had one too many.

Social Media Stalking

The creation of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and every other social media network allows us to easily creep on people. Do you find yourself constantly checking your ex’s pages or your mutual friends’ pages to see what they’re up to?  If your former partner didn’t want you in their life, please click the X on the top right corner of their Facebook page.

Reminiscing Over Mementos

Do you still have a box of all the cutesy things from your ex? Do you take it out and cry your eyes out over that rose you saved from the first bouquet of flowers he ever gave you or the tickets to your last movie together? Do yourself a favor and hide it away or better yet, throw it away. Only save it if you can detach yourself from those items and the person who gave it to you; after a while it’ll just be a bunch of stuff in a box to laugh at later on. If you can’t detach yourself, get rid of the junk.

Random Booty Calls

If you’re really not together anymore, stay away from each other. Don’t resort to random booty calls with your ex (especially if it started out with a text while you were sauced). There’s a reason you guys broke up. Why make it harder for yourself by continuing to have random sex when you know they don’t reciprocate your feelings? The likelihood of them regaining feelings just because you guys are having sex is probably slim to none.

Comparing Your New Dates to Your Ex

If you’re out with a new guy or girl, do yourself a favor and leave your ex out of it. Bringing up your ex on a first (or a second or a third) may make your new friend feel like nothing more than a rebound. Keep your ex in the past and don’t start comparing new people to your old relationship. It’ll keep you stuck on your ex for longer than necessary. Move on and don’t allow thoughts of your ex to permeate your new relationships.

If you find yourself doing any of these things following a break-up, don’t stress. Everyone needs some time to mourn the loss of a relationship. Just don’t wait too long because the real Mr. or Mrs. Right could be right under your nose, waiting to change your life.

About the Author

Elisa Freese
Elisa Freese is a lifelong New Yorker with a Bachelor’s degree from SUNY New Paltz and a Master’s degree from New York University. She has always had a love for writing and now that school and homework are finally done forever, Elisa is going back to writing on a regular basis. In addition to writing, Elisa loves anything that has to do with traveling, shopping, social media and TV/movies. With her experiences, as well as the experiences of her friends and family, Elisa hopes to shed some light on the ins and outs of dating to the readers of Nouveau Dating.

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