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November 7, 2013

Texting: What it Means in a Relationship


Take a second to think about how many text messages you send a day to your significant other. Do you guys text all day long or do you only text if you have something important to tell them?

We all know texting can play an important role in the initial stages of a relationship. When you first meet a guy or girl it may be easier to converse with them via text, especially if you get a little nervous. But what happens with texting as the relationship gets a bit more serious?

Researchers at Brigham Young University recently conducted a study on texting and what it means in a relationship. 276 young adults from around the country were studied to see how they viewed texting in their current relationship. These couples didn’t just start dating either: 38% were in a serious relationship, 46% were engaged and 16% were married.

Women hate using texts for serious topics.

Did that finding surprise anyone? The women from the study associated texting with lower relationship quality when it’s used to discuss serious topics. Having tried to resolve a fight via text, I can tell you it’s a pain and so not worth the hassle. How many times have you tried to tell someone something and it gets misconstrued because you can’t show any sort of emotion in a text? Some women may use texting as a means of resolving issues, but they shouldn’t. If you’re in a loving relationship, you shouldn’t resort to texting as a major form of communication. You should be able to have these conversations in person and be able to speak freely. If it’s something that can be resolved quickly, then by all means go for it if you think it’ll help. However, if it’s something much more substantial, lay off the phone keys.

Men apparently hate texting.

I’m not sure if I fully agree with this finding, but according to the study men are unhappy when they send and receive a lot of texts. (I know many men, my boyfriend included, who like to text, but to each their own I guess.) The researchers weren’t really sure what this statistic meant, but they guessed it had to do with men disconnecting and replacing real conversations with texts when they are unhappy with their relationship. Or maybe it’s because a guy feels smothered if a girl texts him all day long. Who knows? The answer to that question is still up in the air and may be something the researchers tackle in their next study.

Affectionate texts are cool with both sexes.

As you may have guessed, texts that show how much you care about your partner or show them how much you love them are a great thing for a relationship. Interestingly enough, sending an affectionate text was a greater factor in relationship satisfaction than receiving one. Guess that means you should send your loved one a cute text at some point today. It’ll do wonders for the both of you.

Long story short: you have to decide what level of texting is right for your relationship. Maybe you like having some time to yourself during the day and not having to check in with your significant other while at work. Maybe you’re the couple who loves to talk to each other and texts throughout the day. Do whatever works best for you and your relationship.

Have any thoughts about texting and relationships based on your personal experience? Leave your comments below or start a conversation with us on our Facebook or Twitter pages.

About the Author

Elisa Freese
Elisa Freese is a lifelong New Yorker with a Bachelor’s degree from SUNY New Paltz and a Master’s degree from New York University. She has always had a love for writing and now that school and homework are finally done forever, Elisa is going back to writing on a regular basis. In addition to writing, Elisa loves anything that has to do with traveling, shopping, social media and TV/movies. With her experiences, as well as the experiences of her friends and family, Elisa hopes to shed some light on the ins and outs of dating to the readers of Nouveau Dating.

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