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October 2, 2013

This Is Not Love

Unhappy couple upset with marital problems

Relationships are not always a smooth ride. Couples fight and make up all the time and it is totally natural and acceptable for this to happen. What is not acceptable in a relationship is for your partner to treat you badly and not show respect for you. While life is tricky and sometimes stressful, it is not an excuse to take things out on a partner. People in a relationship should always respect each other. If you find yourself making excuses for your partner often, saying things like, “He still loves me, He just have a lot going on,” or “She doesn’t mean to be inconsiderate, she’s just really stressed out,” that may be a sign that you should re-evaluate the relationship. Here’s why you should be a wary of making those kinds of excuses for your partner:

Your Partner’s Problems Are Not Yours

Let’s say your partner has a rough day at work, or is having problems with friends or family. There is no reason why these problems should affect your relationship. You two can have a conversation about what is causing the frustration, but you shouldn’t be the target of that frustration. There’s a big difference between sharing the woes of everyday life with your partner and treating them like crap because you had a rough day.

Love Shouldn’t Be Situational

You should love your partner at all times. Even when you’re fighting, you should still feel love. You two don’t always get along, but a disagreement doesn’t make you stop loving someone. Your partner should always treat you with care and respect. If you’re regularly not receiving that kind of treatment, you should put your relationship under the microscope and decide if you should go find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

There’s No Excuse

There’s no excuse to treat someone you love in a way that disrespects the connection and relationship you have. Instead of making excuses for your partner, take a look at yourself and how you are feeling. Are you happy being treated this way or do you want to be in a relationship that feels good? Personally, I want to be with someone who respects and loves me no matter how much we may disagree or how many problems we are having in our lives outside of the relationship.

Your relationship should be a positive thing in your life—one of the most positive things. You should be able to go to your partner and feel better about everything else in your life, not worse. You want to be able to discuss your issues without worrying about causing problems. Happiness should be one of the most important aspects of your relationship, so make sure that you and your partner are always working toward it.





About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.




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