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October 21, 2013

TMI: New Couple Vacations

Sitting on sand

If you’re entering a brand new relationship or you’re in the “I don’t know if it’s a relationship—we don’t have the label…yet” phase, the following advice is crucial if you have any hope for long-term potential.

Do you think your relationship has what it takes to go from “fling” to “long-term relationship?”

If you answered yes–then don’t go on a trip, weekend getaway, vacation or the like with your new lover.

“But why?”  You might ask “I thought taking a vacation with your lover helps you get to know them better and faster!”

Yes, it does. But if you just started seeing your partner, the problem is that you guys barely know each other in the first place. You might know their favorite restaurants, their hobbies and other just-beyond-the-surface facts, but taking a vacation at this stage in your relationship is simply too much, too soon.

It’s basically a big TMI thrown in your face.

You don’t know your partner well enough to reserve judgement for things they might unintentionally get revealed during a trip. When you know someone really well, you accept many of their idiosyncrasies and you’re not thrown off by them. If you discover their weird quirks as you’re simultaneously discovering that they like soccer, but not musicals, the water is too deep.

Make sure your relationship is sturdy and built on a solid foundation before rocking the boat. If you’re not ready to bear it all to your partner (or see your partner bear it all to you), you need to take a some more time to see if you guys are a good match.

Relationships work well when taken step-by-step. A few baby steps followed by a giant leap to the moon may be too much for your new relationship to gracefully handle. You run the risk of provoking a break up that could have been avoided if you had just postponed the vacation.

You can avoid all the TMI and premature break up nonsense if you let things progress naturally. The speed of this natural progression depends on the unique relationship between you and your crush. Some people get to know each other inside and out within a few months, whereas other relationships blossom slowly over many years. There’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for all couples. Whenever you feel that a strong, serious relationship has been built between you and your partner—that’s the time to take a couple vacation together.


About the Author

Laura Baines
Coincidentally born on Valentine’s Day, Laura has a passion for playing cupid by helping others find love. She has a degree in psychology from CU-Boulder and aspires to earn her masters in counseling.

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