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Dating Advice For Women

August 6, 2013

To Group Date or Not to Group Date

To-group-date-or-not

Asking someone out on a date is hard enough, so when the possibility of a group date gets thrown into the mix it’s good to know what you’re getting yourself involved with. There are multiple positives to a group date, like less pressure on you and figuring out friend dynamics early on, but there are also just as many disadvantages that comes with expanding a date further than just a dinner for two. The possibility for bad friend behavior and the lack of intimacy that comes with the group dating experience are just a few of reasons that you may opt to keep your date just a duo.

·         The Advantages

o    Less Pressure: Theoretically the more people there are out on a date together the less time for awkward silence or dead-end small talk there should be. Having another couple or a whole group out with you and your date should help casual conversation flow more naturally and helps you avoid having to constantly be thinking up things to say to entertain your date all night long.

o    Friend and Family Dynamic: How a potential boyfriend/girlfriend interacts with your friends and family is only second in importance to how they interact with you. A group date answers both questions at the same time. With one date you can learn about any possible clashing personalities between your beau and friends, or on the flipside, if your date hits it off with your gang you’ll know this advantage right off the bat.

o   Keeps Things Active: While single dates tend to be more passive, going to dinner or the movies, group dates are often more on the active side, like going bowling or playing a few rounds of mini-golf. Going on an active date gives you the chance to see how you and your date relate in various situations. Very quickly you’ll find out if they’re overaggressive when they compete or if they’re a poor sport when they lose.

·         Disadvantages:

o   Being Judged as a Whole: The impressions that the first few dates give are pretty important, so finding yourself out with people who are giving off a bad impression can be damaging to the impression your date is getting from you. The way your friends or family act is a reflection of yourself as far as strangers are concerned. It’s nice to have your group get to know who you’re dating, but if you know a few of them come on strong at first maybe wait until you’re past the casual dating stage to bring them into the mix.

o   Low Intimacy: When you invite the whole group to come out on a date you give up the main advantage of the one on one date: intimacy. Having a few couples or a gang of friends filling in the gaps ultimately means that you and your date are going to spend some of your time together distracted by other people or activities rather each of you focusing on each other. An audience may also discourage such things like physical contact or an invitation to extend the date later into the evening.

o   Friendly Competition: By inviting another couple out on your date you open yourself to the possibility of some ‘Couple Competition’, basically the situation where you and your date may find yourself trying to keep up with the other couple, particularly when it comes to stuff like holding hands, kissing, and more. If you’re not at the stage with your date where you feel up to a little healthy competition you may want to hold off on group and double dates.

When trying to decide on going for a group date or a more traditional one on one date there are a few things you have to consider. Who you’re inviting and how they will reflect on you is always an important question to consider. Also, what your goal for the date is should be something you ask yourself before expanding the guest list. If you’re looking for something more romantic or intimate then a group date may not be your deal, but if you’re looking for a more casual experience with someone you’re trying to get to know a fun group date could be the ticket. 





About the Author

Shana Diaz
Shana Diaz is a Colorado native finishing her BA in Creative Writing at Colorado Mesa University in the fall. Besides being a shameless romantic she also boasts of being a Nerdfighter, a Potterhead, and just an all around bookworm. When she isn’t stuck in the stacks at the library or working as a home health care aid, Shana enjoys spending her time gallivanting around the Internet with her long distance boyfriend and devouring the blogs of her favorite authors.




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