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Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

Dating Tips For Men

September 26, 2013

The Wrong Way to Approach Women

Embarrassed Woman and Flirting Man

I earned a special kind of scholarship for my undergraduate schooling—a type of scholarship that required I live in the same building as 30 other guys. I was getting my college paid for in exchange for living with a bunch of dudes. Tough life right?

I learned a lot while living with these college guys. Some were pretty girl savvy, others way too picky, some thought they knew all about the female species and the rest were lost and confused. My little residential group seemed to represent the larger male population.

I’m here to help the men out there who represent the latter half of the scholars I resided with, that is, the ones who think they know all there is to know and those who are clueless about women. Although they seem like two different groups, sadly, neither type knows how to approach women.

The Macho Man

You put on your big, tough guy mask by surrounding yourself with your frat bro friends, puffing out your chest, and a lotta talk about how many girls you get. Yet for some reason, you look like your own personal ghost town.

  •  What you’re doing wrong: Although it feels good having your bros with you as your wingmen and security blanket, this situation can turn bad depending on the friends and how many there are. If you have a Siamese twin as a friend, meeting a girl can bring out some jealousy in your other half, which can deter you from starting a new relationship (FYI: In case you didn’t know, you’re already are in one with your friend!). On the other hand, if you simply have too many friends with you, women can feel intimidated, especially in a rowdy atmosphere or if your friends come off as cliquish. A woman may not feel comfortable because she feels like she doesn’t belong in your “bro club.”
  • How you can fix it: Stick to bringing one or two wingmen out with you. Leave the one attached to your hip at home—you can have a man date with him another day. Also, if your goal is to meet women, focus on the women! Don’t put all your energy into your clique of friends.

 The Lost and Confused Man

 You might feel a bit unsure of yourself around women. They’re like aliens right? Men are from Mars, women are from Venus type-stuff. You’re not sure what they like or what turns them off and you’re afraid of crossing any boundaries.

  • What you’re doing wrong: In my experience, these men use a lot of pick-up lines. Bad news: most women don’t like cheesy pick-up lines. Some may think they are cute, but if they are interested, they want to get to know the real you. Almost any pick up line will turn a woman off and prevent that from happening. If you simply can’t approach a woman, that’s another issue you can work on using my tips below.
  • How you can fix it: Work on talking to the other women in your life (i.e. your sisters or female cousins, your female friends, your friends’ girlfriends, etc.) to develop a rapport with the fairer sex general. You could also ask these women how they like being approached by men and what approaches have worked before. They’ll likely have some valuable information and insights. Talking to the women in your life will build your confidence and conversation skills with women.

No matter which category you’re in, you have some work to do. Work out your glitch and become the best eligible bachelor you can be!

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About the Author

Laura Baines
Coincidentally born on Valentine’s Day, Laura has a passion for playing cupid by helping others find love. She has a degree in psychology from CU-Boulder and aspires to earn her masters in counseling.

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