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November 11, 2013

Time Travel In Love?

arrives at the "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" Los Angeles Premiere

The new rom com starring Rachel McAdams, About Time, begs the question of—if you could—would you go back and change past events in your love life?

Here are some of pros and cons you may encounter if you were able to do some “love life time travel”:

Pros:

  1.  You can immediately fix your mistakes. Long gone are the days when you make unforgiveable mistakes in your relationship, are forced to break up because of it, and learn to never make that same mistake again with a future partner. Right when your lover gives you that disapproving face, immediately rewind. Pheww! That was easy.
  2. You can go through love without any hesitations. Similar to #1, you no longer have to think twice about your actions around this person. Forget the courting process, you can do things in any order you want and if they end up not liking something you say or do, no problem! Rewind and try another way the next time. If that doesn’t work, rewind again! Keep repeating until both parties are satisfied.
  3. You can make it work with someone it might not normally work out with. Have a dream guy or girl in mind? Go for it! No matter how many things go awry, you can literally do no wrong thanks to do-overs. They will be the saving grace that make your dream relationship a reality.

Cons:

  1. An unnatural relationship. Do you really want a relationship where you can fix every single thing you’ve done wrong—making it as if it never happened? Sure it will be enjoyable at first, but it will become inhuman after a while. You don’t have the opportunity to learn about each others annoying characteristics, how they behave in crisis situations, how to help them through tough times & vice versa, etc. This is part of what helps partners bond and grow in a relationship.
  2. Stunted learning. Yeah sure, you’ll do some insta-learning—but it surely won’t stick with you like real life lessons. You’ll immediately learn what your partner likes and doesn’t like, and just as immediately you will learn to fix it. But…you won’t learn the valuable relationship skills that help you get through a disagreement with your partner, handle the news of having an unplanned child, etc. You will never learn these skills if you use a short cut to ease the pain.
  3. Maybe it’s not meant to be? If you have to go back in time hundreds or thousands of times in order to “fix” all your relationship problems…maybe this person isn’t the one. “The One” should love you for everything you are and a few bumps in the road shouldn’t negatively effect their commitment to you.

The decision is up to you. Would you or wouldn’t you choose time travel for your love life? We’d love to hear your thoughts in a comment below!

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About the Author

Laura Baines
Coincidentally born on Valentine’s Day, Laura has a passion for playing cupid by helping others find love. She has a degree in psychology from CU-Boulder and aspires to earn her masters in counseling.




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