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Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

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February 6, 2014

Take Control of Your Love Life

Young couple kissing

In dating, it can be easy to  follow the “norm” or the trends that exist in society. These trends can take many forms, including the question of who should text first or who should be initiating the relationship, and other similar issues that come up in dating. While there are many established customs in dating that we do want to pay attention to, they should not define who we are and they definitely should not define what goes on in our love lives. It is easy to fall into a place of self doubt or of even doubting the relationship when we give up our control of our love lives and instead focus on what those around us tell us we should be doing. When we feel doubt about any aspect of our love lives, it is difficult to grow as an individual and as someone’s partner. It is important to regain or maintain control.

Don’t Wait Around

In an attempt to not seem too desperate or too eager, it has become normal to wait for the other person to initiate the interactions. This can be in texting, going on dates, or simply a normal conversation at work or school. Ideally you want the effort to be equal, but usually either one or both people involved are trying to seem uninterested as a way to get the other person to be interested in them. Don’t wait around for this person to contact you. Just go ahead and do it. While they may not reciprocate, at least you have not wasted your time waiting around for this person who is never really going to make an effort. You can now move on and find someone who does want to be proactive about your relationship.

Be Bold

That being said, put yourself out there. You have to be brave. If you want something to happen in your love life, go out there and make it happen. No one is going to do it for you and guaranteed, no guy is going to read your mind. If what you want doesn’t happen for you this time, at least you put yourself out there. Don’t be embarrassed and shy away from opportunities if it doesn’t happen for you this time. You allowed yourself to open up and whether it was or wasn’t successful in your eyes, you definitely will grow from the experience. If you aren’t willing to take risks then you will never get what you want.

Do What Makes You Happy

This one is pretty self explanatory. If you are not happy with an aspect of your life, whether it be dating or anything else, change it. You are the only person who has the power to do so. Do not allow yourself to just continue doing something that doesn’t make you happy.  Once you figure out what isn’t making you happy, or better yet, what will, take the steps to make that possible happiness a reality.

You want to live the best life possible and this includes making sure that you are in control of who you involve in your life, especially in your love life. Live your life the way you want to instead of simply going through the motions because you think you have to fit some mold or crazy societal expectations.

About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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