Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice

How To Kiss

October 16, 2013

How Not to Kiss


Kissing is my favorite sport, because it’s free and fun. That being said, I’ve had some intensely bad kisses. There are a few ways that a kiss can go very wrong. Here are a few examples of a bad kisser.

  1. The Bird Peck: You’ve probably experienced this one, where they purse up their lips really tightly and just jam their face into yours over and over again, like a hungry bird. And you don’t want to say anything because they’re obviously giving it their all, but the whole time you’re thinking: Dude, chill out. No one is giving out medals for “hardest lips” here. You’ve got to relax your lips, make them soft, and keep it sexy, not like you’ve spread birdseed all over their face.
  2. The Thirsty Dog: It’s like your face is a water bowl and they’ve just got to stick their tongue everywhere. About halfway through you feel the sudden urge to grab a napkin. When it comes to tongue, subtle is best. A little bit of tongue is amazing, a whole heaping pile of tongue is gross.
  3. The Micro-Kiss: You know, that kiss where one of you is busy and you kiss, but it’s so quick it’s almost like it never happened. It’s the tiniest of pecks that, I don’t know, seems like an empty gesture. Making sure a kiss is good, sweet, and meaningful would only take one extra second out of your day. But it would ensure that your affection for the other person is never an afterthought.
  4. The Surprise Kiss: Okay, this one goes both ways. On one hand, the idea of wanting to kiss someone so much that you can’t wait one more second is incredibly sweet. On the other hand, it can be somewhat invasive and rude. It really depends on how long you’ve been dating the person and what they are saying. If this is the first date, or maybe even the second date, hold off on the surprise kiss until you’re sure that they’re comfortable around you. If they’re talking about something emotional, or perhaps a problem they’re having, maybe not interrupting them to get your smooch on would be a good bet. But, if you’ve shared more than a couple of kisses, and you two are having a sweet moment, go for it!
  5. The Mannequin Kiss: They put their mouth on your mouth, and then do nothing. For a very long time. And it gets so awkward. And it won’t stop. You have to do something when you kiss, you can’t just plop your mouth on their mouth and hang out until they break away. Kiss them!

Kissing is fun, there’s no doubt about it. But a kiss can go horribly wrong if not applied correctly. Just steer clear of these kisses and you should be fine. For articles on how to kiss well, see here for guys, and here for girls!

About the Author

Lauren Volpe
Lauren Volpe is a recent graduate of Texas State University with a BA in English Literature with a Minor in Anthropology. She is now a freelance writer. She is passionate about writing and studying human interactions. She enjoys giving relationship advice built on her personal history, and the experiences of her friends and family. She currently resides in San Marcos, Texas.

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