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June 25, 2013

Online Dating Disasters

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Written by: Tracey Fuller
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If you have joined OkCupid, Match.com, Plenty Of Fish, or eHarmony, you know as well as I do that online dating can be tricky. Who knows who you are really talking to when you meet someone online, and if they’re telling the truth. How can you tell the good guys from the liars, the sluts from the innocent? Is there a particular screening process we can go through before deciding the person we met online is worthy of a coffee date? Here are some examples that are true stories of online dating disasters from my own and friends experiences. Note: This is not an article bashing online dating. I actually met a great guy on one of the before mentioned dating sites, and I know others who have married someone they met online. The stories I am about to tell are true, but hilariously disastrous and it’s all part of the fun of online dating.

Meeting Mr. Stupid on OkCupid

When I joined OkCupid a few years back, this guy saw me creeping on his profile and decided to chat me.  Anyway, we started to talk, then he messaged me, then we exchanged numbers so we can text. Finally a  few weeks later, he wanted me to join him and his friends at some festival. Me thinking it was strange he wanted me to meet his friends, thinking they would be included in the “Let’s see if this chick is hot enough to date my friend” contest, I said I would meet him only if I could bring one of my friends. I was sick the day of so I texted him I wasn’t feeling well. He didn’t text me back. The next day I kind of felt bad that I ditched him, so just to test the waters to see if he was mad at me or if he was easygoing and would make a plan for a future date, I texted him and told him that I was sorry I couldn’t make it, and asked him how was the fest. He replied “Fine” and was very short with me. Didn’t even ask if I was feeling better. I never heard from him again, until I started dating my now boyfriend, and he messaged me on OkCupid saying “Hey, I’m single again!! How have you been?”. Like, excuse me??  He thinks I had been waiting to hear back from him that whole time? Get a life, loser!!

I’ll F**k You Forever

A friend of mine met this guy online who seemed pretty normal. He had a decent job as an engineer, his own home, no kids, and they got along great. It wasn’t until she mentioned that some of her best friends were lesbians that he started making comments that made her feel uncomfortable. He was obsessed with the idea of having a threesome, without ever meeting her friends and didn’t care that her friends were not into men. He kept pushing the issue asking her “So, would you ever consider having a threesome with me and your friend? Have you ever hooked up with your friend?” She just started to avoid his calls and texts and finally she couldn’t take it anymore, answered and he said “If you let me have a threesome with you and your friend, I”ll fuck you forever!”. She replied “No thanks, I don’t need you to fuck me forever!” and hung up on his ass. This guy was so persistent he didn’t stop texting her for a whole YEAR! He would make up situations for her to call him, or just text her a smiley face, but she ignored him.

Keeping It In The Family

One site actually recommended that my brother was an ideal match for me! I messaged him on the site and told him he was one of my suitors. He quickly replied “Welcome to the Block List!!”. Funny thing is, the site probably matched us because we answered our questions the same way. When I looked at his answers to his profile questions, I teared up a bit and thought “Our mom raised us well.”

 

 

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About the Author

Tracey Fuller
Tracey is a Chicago native and has her degree in journalism from Columbia College. Her passion for writing about dating and relationships derives from her own experiences, as well as from friends conversations about their dating life. She has been a freelance writer for 10 years.




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