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May 14, 2009

Sense of Humor in Dating

improve dating success with sense of humor

A sense of humor enables people to relax and feel comfortable in any situation including dating . Making fun of oneself is also a way to make someone feel at ease (if this isn’t done in a self-deprecating manner as a habit). Making constant jabs about oneself indicates low self-esteem generally whereas some healthy laughs at oneself shows a dose of reality.

A sense of humor gives you more self confidence for dating.

Though some professionals advise maintaining a self-confident demeanor, people seem to feel more connected with someone who is able to show their vulnerabilities and has some degree of humbleness. Humility is a nice quality to see and it shows that someone isn’t stuck on themselves and full of self-pride. Having a sense of humor about yourself is great if you have the right skills to not put yourself down. Showing that you can laugh at yourself and show your vulnerability can make you connect with your date much faster. Remember we are all suckers for connections and how we make our connections is through vulnerability. Using humor is the best way to go.

When someone makes a joke about themselves they don’t seem to be full of self-importance or carrying a big ego around. Instead they seem like a real human being. This in turn allows us to laugh at ourselves and reveal something personal to another that may show a flaw or weak spot as well

Extremes of mocking another or oneself indicate unresolved issues that need to be looked at. But interspersing jokes and humorous remarks organically into a conversation enlivens it and creates closeness.

Sarcastic humor is not a good idea on the first 8 dates.

Biting and sarcastic humor can be negative on a date and show a certain bitterness or anger inside. This is different than a natural use of humor and chuckles. We tend to lower our guards when humor is used because we don’t have to be performing or “on” all the time. Using sarcasm on a date when you haven’t been with someone you don’t know yet will make you loose this person or take you farther away from connecting.

Negative jokes about your ex can cast you a second date

On the first 8 dates, I recommend not to talk about anything about ex,  but even worse to talk negative about them. It’s best to stay away from a bashing fest about one’s ex pointing out all their flaws and limitations. Usually one isn’t distant enough from an ex-spouse or partner to be able to do this without a hidden agenda or unresolved hurt. This also applies to jokes about ex-in-laws as often problems with in-laws were factors in a relationship ending.

Do not use jokes about politics, religion or your ex.

Humor is a great way to break the ice and make another person enjoy your company. But it is a very delicate thing because everyone has a different sense of humor and can feel offensive in some of the jokes. I recommend to use general jokes that works for most people, do not use jokes about politics, religious or ex.

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About the Author

Anna Karimo
Anna Karimo is the founder and CEO of Nouveau Dating. She is an international leading Dating Expert who has invented dozens of amazing products in the dating and relationship field.

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