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Relationships

January 16, 2014

Eliminating Relationship Fears by Loving in the Moment

eliminating-relationship-fears

Why is it that after spending our entire lives fantasizing about how great it would be to find love, we push love away as soon as it works itself into our existence? Falling in love is an overwhelming, scary, emotional rollercoaster that is almost impossible to explain. We question if we are good enough for something so great, or if it will eventually break our hearts. Though these concerns are normal, they are unhealthy to budding relationships. You need to work on eliminating relationship fears by loving in the moment because the moment you are in might be the only one you get.

Keep Your Independence

The idea of being in a committed long term relationship can often make a person feel like they are signing his or her life away. Because of this, many couples break up shortly after discussions of taking things to “the next level”. A huge misconception here is that “the next level” symbolizes the end of life as you’ve known. Yes, you’re going to have to stop thinking in terms of “I” and starting thinking about “us” more often, but your life as an individual is not over. Relationships are more about communication and compromise than sacrifice.

If you have a hobby that you’re S.O. isn’t crazy about participating in, designate time apart to focus on yourselves and your individual friends and interests. Compromise and step into each other’s worlds. You might teach or learn something new, and by leaving your comfort zones to visit each other’s you are strengthening your bond. Don’t forget frequent date nights and trying new things together are great too.

There’s No Safe Zone

You will never be in a relationship where you know what the other person is thinking and feeling 100 percent of the time. Your insecurities are bound to chime in to confuse you and maybe even get you to act a little psychotic every now and again. Just like you can fear falling in love, the idea of losing the person you love is equally scary.

So, how do you stop yourself from thinking the world is over because your partner hasn’t replied to the text you sent an hour ago? You replace that scary nervous feeling with the bliss you feel when they are around. Know that what you’re experiencing is part of something greater. It doesn’t matter that you act a little crazy from it. After all not many people can agree on how to define love.

You will become more comfortable as the relationship progresses because your confidence in their promises to you will strengthen.

Slow Down

Everybody knows that saying, “When something seems too good to be true, it usually is”. Do not apply this to your relationship, it will only feed your fears. The fear will lead to relationship sabotage, and then there will be loneliness and regret to deal with. Instead of trying to prepare yourself for the worst case scenario, allow yourself to truly live in the joy of the moment.

Slow down and really understand how privileged you are to have someone love you and accept your flaws. Appreciate the moment you are living in, and don’t feel pressured to plan for the future. Let the future come naturally and everything will fall into place.





About the Author

Christina Scribner
Christina Scribner began writing poetry and short stories early in her childhood. As a freelance writer, her goal is to offer insight in the areas of relationships and beauty, drawing from personal experiences and studies. In her spare time, Christina still writes poetry, studies spirituality, obsesses over music, and loves hard. She is always excited to challenge herself and make life her teacher.




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