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Relationships

October 22, 2013

Relationship Starting to Fizzle? Why It’s Okay to NOT Panic

relationship-starting-to-fizzle-dont-panic

Once upon a time, it seemed like you and your partner could read each others’ minds. You agreed on everything and did everything together. You were such a perfect match that you wondered how you were able to survive separately for all those years. It was like you were two halves of the same being.

Now? Not so much. Now you find there are longer moments of silence than before, your partner’s jokes aren’t as funny as they used to be, and you can predict their every waking movement. Although you still care, you instantly begin to panic because you think real love would never have any boring or predictable moments. Real love is always thrilling and exhilarating and impulsive and breathtaking! So this can’t be real love! How could you be so wrong?!

Take a deep breath and back away from the Nicholas Sparks movies.

Yes, love is thrilling, exhilarating, heart-pounding and all that great stuff but love can also be boring. What you were in at the beginning was called the honeymoon period, which most of the time lasts anywhere from 6 months to 2 years.

During the honeymoon period the relationship literally consumes your every waking thought and you are counting down the minutes until you are together again. Sadly there is virtually no way for this period to sustain itself—even for the truest of loves.

This is Not a Cause for Concern

Women often get so caught up in the fairytale love stories from our favorite movies (The Notebook, Romeo+Juliet, Titanic, Ever After, Sleepless in Seattle, the goes on and on), that if our relationship doesn’t measure up, we automatically assume it must not be real love. Bullshit.

I hate to break it to you, but not every day with your partner is going to be magical.

One of the most important things in life is balance. Mark Twain was quoted as saying, “What is joy without sorrow? What is success without failure? What is a win without a loss? What is health without illness? You have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other.” The same is true in relationships. The seemingly boring moments in your relationship will make the wonderful and passionate times all the more special.

And if you and your partner genuinely love each other the passion will return, in a deeper and more comfortable way. Nothing lasts forever and in most healthy long-term relationships, there is natural ebb and flow as it passes through many stages.  Transitioning out of the honeymoon phase of a relationship often leads to a deeper and more meaningful bond.

So if you’ve been sulking about having fewer butterflies fluttering in your stomach, don’t automatically panic! If there’s still love and appreciation there, your relationship might be blossoming into something that’s even better than the movies.

Do you have any love or relationship questions? Post them on the Nouveau Dating Facebook page.

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About the Author

Keisha Jeffries





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