Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice


December 19, 2013

Successful Relationships: What Makes Them Last Part 1

Elderly couple cooking food together

What makes a successful relationship? Most of us have probably asked ourselves this question as we have tried to figure out
how to date successfully and then move on to consider a longer commitment. While movies tend to give us a nice picture of couples falling in love, having some kind of unrealistic conflict, and then ending up living happily ever after, it is probably not the best idea to take love advice from these sources of entertainment. Rather, we should look at the relationships around us, the people close to us who are making it work. For many, it may be the relationships of our parents, or of our grandparents, but it could also be the relationship of a friend or a colleague that we really admire. So, how do these people stay together as long as they do? How do older generations make it to 50+ years of marriage? There are many lessons we can learn from observing these relationships, and many may not be  those we expected to learn.

The relationship is not only about you.

Part of being in a successful, adult relationship is about respecting the other person and realizing that you are not the only one in the relationship with needs. For example, you and your partner may have completely different ways to deal with stress or frustration. You may appreciate someone you love being there for you with some words of encouragement and advice, while your partner may just want to be left alone while they figure things out on their own. Whatever the situation, you and your partner both need to learn how to give each other what the other needs and respect the fact that these needs may be different from yours.

If children are also part of the equation, the relationship is no longer simply about you and your partner, but also, and perhaps more importantly, about the children that you have chosen to bring into your life and  to care for. This is an important lesson in realizing and accepting the responsibility that you have chosen to take on.

It is not going to be easy.

Creating a family is not an easy task. There are outside pressures like work, school, and   money that must be handled as
well as stresses within your family such as being able to provide for your children or dealing with disagreements between the two of you. Whatever the obstacle may be, it is important to acknowledge that you two are in this together and while it may not always be an easy ride, you can get through it as a team and as a family.

You have to trust each other. 

Without trust, it is hard to imagine the relationship lasting very long. If you are always worried that your partner is going to betray or hurt you, you will never be able to focus on  strengthening the other important qualities needed for the relationship to endure. It is hard to trust someone the way you have to trust your partner, but when you do, you can see past the small things and look at the bigger picture of your relationship, and see that you can make it last.

We can learn so much by simply observing the successful couples in our lives and looking at the aspects of their relationships that make them so strong. Try to find the aspects that you want to model your own relationship with and keep them in mind while you are dating and trying to find the person for you.

About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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