Nuvo Dating
Dating Tips & Relationship Advice


January 16, 2014

Take Responsibility in Your Relationship


Part of being an adult is knowing how and when you need to take responsibility for your actions. This is especially important in your relationship because when you choose to instead hide behind excuses and blame someone or something else for a problem, it can cause conflict.

What do I mean by this?

Let’s say that you and your significant other have set boundaries for your relationship. Whatever these boundaries may be, you have to respect them. If you happen to cross one of the boundaries or do something to either hurt or upset your partner, that is on you. You can either choose to admit your mistake and work toward fixing whatever effect it had, or you can choose to blame your partner instead. Choosing the latter will not help your relationship and may actually  hurt it.

How will it hurt your relationship?

First, choosing to single out your partner and put the blame on them can hurt them and cause them to have a bigger issue with you than whatever the current issue may be. Also, it just makes you look bad. Never taking responsibility for the mistakes you make shows a lack of maturity. Your partner could very easily see the immaturity in how you handle the situation and choose to move on, leaving you and your ego behind.

In addition, placing the blame on your significant other can cause a lack of trust. Why would your partner trust you if you are always throwing them or someone else under the bus? Remember that being in a relationship is a lot like being on a team. If you cannot take the responsibility for your choices and actions, you will never be a positive contributor to the relationship.

So what should you do?

Choose to be self-aware. If you happen to screw up, go to your significant other and apologize. Admit that you made a mistake and work toward repairing what you have done. Not only will your partner be much more willing to do the same, but it will also allow them to trust you more. They will know that when you make a mistake, you will admit it. They will never have to wonder about what you may be doing and how that might affect or hurt them.

Choosing to be responsible for yourself within the relationship can benefit your relationship as well as allow you to improve overall as a human being. Not only does it show maturity, but it will make more people want to work with or be around you. No one wants to have to deal with someone who is petty and who can never own up to what they have done. This includes your significant other. Work on this simple behavioral change and you will see a huge difference in not only your relationship, but in your professional and social life as well.

About the Author

Elizabeth Monsoor
Elizabeth Monsoor is currently working on her Bachelor of Fine Arts in dance at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle, Washington. While Elizabeth pursues a career in dance, she has rediscovered her love for writing. When she is not in class or at rehearsals, Elizabeth enjoys actively commenting on episodes of reality television and tweeting her observations on relationships several times a day. She has an “eyes wide open” approach to dating, acting as an unofficial advisor and commentator on her friends’ relationships. Elizabeth hopes that her opinions on relationships and her love of sarcasm both entertain and inspire her readers.

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