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September 18, 2013

3 Non-Problems About Sex


So we’ve all been told that there are problems about sex that, if they come up, are going to be a problem. Sexually, this can be very damaging to our egos and expectations. And it’s a shame, because these aren’t really problems at all.

  1. Their number of partners: Look, if they’ve had more partners than you, what are you going to say, “Oh no, I thought they were a virgin, but I guess they’re someone with more experience who has had more training, and probably knows some tricks I don’t and they can teach me!” One, why are you even asking how many partners someone’s had? Two, as long as they have been safe and you’ve both had STD checks, then who are you to decide what an appropriate number of previous partners is? Alternatively, if they’ve had less, it’s all: “Oh no, someone who’s more impressionable in bed, now I can begin teaching them about sex exactly to my preferences, woe is me!” Also, less sex doesn’t mean less ability. You can have 200 partners, but if it’s all mediocre sex, then you’re not matching up to the person who’s had mind-blowing sex but with only two partners. The only people that are really going to freak out about your number are assholes, either because they can’t control you or are basing it off of some preconceived notions.
  2. Size: Okay, size matters a little, but not as much as people make it out to. Smaller guys, rejoice! There are positions that will make the lacking in inches irrelevant. For more info check this site out. Besides, larger is not always better. For one, men with ridiculously large penises tend to rely only on that for adequate sex. It makes them lazy, and leaves a woman unsatisfied. Also, there are smaller women for whom large men are too much to handle, have you ever heard of a penis hitting a cervix? Because yeah, that’s horrible. So calm down if you’re on the smaller size, don’t overcompensate, and just be really awesome in bed.
  3. Someone Farts: Because sex is weird. People are naked, and there’s sweat, and bodies rubbing up on each other, sometimes other bodily functions come into play. Sometimes there are terrifying faces, or strange noises, and it’s all good! Even if it’s your first time hitting the sack together, passing gas is a completely normal human function. Just laugh it off and continue what you were doing. Also, sometimes a woman can pass wind through the front… and whatever you do, don’t make her feel bad about it! It’s just air pressure built up from all the activity in there, there’s not going to be a smell, calm down. Just enjoy each other’s bodies without making each other feel weird about them.

So these are some problems that aren’t actually all that problematic. We’ve been fed by the media that there’s an ideal partner, or that there are unfair standards for each gender to match up to. The truth is that sex is only great when both partners are ensuring that everyone gets maximum pleasure. So please just enjoy yourselves.

About the Author

Lauren Volpe
Lauren Volpe is a recent graduate of Texas State University with a BA in English Literature with a Minor in Anthropology. She is now a freelance writer. She is passionate about writing and studying human interactions. She enjoys giving relationship advice built on her personal history, and the experiences of her friends and family. She currently resides in San Marcos, Texas.

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